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CHAPTER ONE Girl Covered In Blood
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Jude had never been a believer.
Sure, she'd heard stories of the almighty Lord above and been forced to pray every night before bed in the orphanage but really all that had left was a bitter taste on her tongue. Pray the sins out of you, they instructed. God will save you, they promised. Everyone is God's gift to this Earth, they reminded.
God sure does have a sense of humor, Jude thought when they would say grace before their meals, linking souls and hands together as if that would somehow wash away the blood on everyone's hands.
Jude had only ever actually prayed once and that was when she'd ditched the orphanage years later. She was 13, living on the streets of Colorado with nothing more than a crumpled up 5 dollar bill shoved into her pocket and Nathan's baby blue blanket in her hands. It was 3 am on a rainy Sunday and Jude stood in the small church with water dripping from her sweatshirt onto her jeans, onto her shoes, and onto the floor. She was standing in a puddle of her own holy water: mud, tears, and blood.
It had been dead empty except for the candle lights which filled up the room more than people ever could. Jude sat herself down in a creaky chair before the statue of Christ and had put her hands together just like she'd been taught. With her eyes closed, she'd whispered, "Dear Heavenly Father, I am so grateful for thy... for thy... for... what the fuck am I even saying?
Jude opened her eyes and stared up at the cross. "What have you ever given me that I should be grateful for? My mother is probably on the other side of the world, not giving a shit about me! My father is six feet under, murdered by some stranger the police didn't even try to find! My brother is... is... dead and I couldn't even give him a proper burial! I... I killed him and I don't even know how!" Jude pressed her knees up against her chin and wrapped her arms around her legs, curling up into a ball. "Did you try to stop any of that? Or... or even think about the consequences?"
The only response she'd been given is silence.
That dark August morning, Jude had begged God to save her but instead, he'd shoved more torment down her throat to keep her quiet.
