Mon amour, ma vie

10

Stepping into his bathroom, it's much larger than the one from a few days past. The bath is purely white in color, and it looks as if the rims of the mirror are made of pure gold. You blush, you still can't believe you're in the Emperor's own house. It feels surreal. And to think, a few weeks back you sewed and made a few shillings per week.

You run the water. This is the first time you've ever seen indoor plumbing. No one back in Normandy had it, due to the poverty, and in an odd way it fascinates you. Perhaps this is normal for the upper class. (Indoor plumbing didn't exist in 1808, but like whatever)

And at that, the water is warm, something you rarely had when bathing. It was all so new to you, every little thing, though normal to most in upper Paris, was as if a complete new world to you. You hope Napoléon will let you stay awhile longer, at least another week or so, then you'll have plenty of rest and can get back on your feet. A small part of you thinks he likes you, with what happened last night, the intimacy you shared together, but you think it's what he does. He probably has a million other ladies, much more beautiful and wealthy than you as his mistress, so you make sure to not get your hopes up.

He's so kind to you though, the first man, other than your father, who's shown you any respect. You can't help but feel an odd, almost obsessive feeling towards him, even though you've known him for less than a week. Perhaps you're getting too attached, you think.

You undressed and put your dress, bra, and undergarments to the side. You went out and grabbed another dress and a smaller, but still oversized. You didn't care though, Étiennette was happy and that's all that mattered.

You undressed her and put her gently in the tub, the warm sunlight coming through the blinds of the window. You gently rub her head and black hair with shampoo and then her body with soap, smiling at the bubbles. You laugh a little, seeing her happy was all that mattered to you. She was looking more and more like Clement, which made you a little sad, but she had your eyes and nose.

You got into the tub with her and began to bathe. You lathered yourself with soap and poured down some water and then with shampoo. Your hair hadn't been cut in many years, and now almost touched your waist. You brushed it out, detangling it to the best of your abilities.

After this, you washed out again and got out of the tub, and put Étiennette to the side and grabbed a towel, you dry off and moved on to Étiennete to dry her off as well. She smiles at you and grabs your bare breasts, she's hungry again.

You feed her by your bare breasts. It's still hard to imagine a world without your little Étiennette in it, it didn't matter how she was conceived or the circumstance, she was your only, your little love. It still made you sad to think she didn't have a father, well at least one that cared about her. You hoped that when Napoléon did eventually ask you to leave, you'd find a man willing to raise a child that isn't his or at least be kind.

Étiennette quiets down and you take her off your breast, you dress her in a little white soft dress and put her on the bed. You dress in the dress Napoléon laid out for you. It's a black dress with gold colored lace on the trims. It had a low neckline and was beautiful. You put it on. It fit perfectly.

You then put your daughter down. It's early morning and all is peaceful and quiet. You have nothing left to do, and the door is locked. You decide to read, there are many books in his room, more books than what you could ever imagine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's quite a while until Napoléon knocks on the door, the sun has already set and Étiennette is already asleep. You had done very little during the day, other than read and lay around. You felt almost lazy. You wondered if this was the life Queens lived, though you doubted it.