Mon amour, ma vie

13

Lucien was furious, to say the least. He couldn't believe Napoléon was letting you, a woman, go to Portugal. You had been avoiding Lucien at all times except for dinner. Napoléon had told you if Lucien kept bugging you he'd have to exile him back to his wife in Italy.

You had been preparing for the journey. You wouldn't be in battle, of course, but you'd be with Napoléon and his troops until you reached Salamanca in Spain. From there you'd split up and would meet Napoléon in Vila Real in Portugal.

You had to admit you were a little scared. It'd be a long journey through Spain and you wondered how Napoléon was going to capture Portugal with them being allies of Britain, but you trusted him. After all, no one became the Emperor of France for nothing.

It was now late February and all the snow had melted, soon, it'd be warm and sunny. Napoléon had set the date of departure for March 1st that year. You'd become acquainted with some of Napoléon's generals, most notably Joachim Murat, the husband of Napoléon's sister, Carolina, who was a few years older than you.

Also, Napoléon introduced you to his brothers Jérôme, who was only a year older than you, Joseph, who was older than Napoléon and had the same statue and similar face to him. You'd also met Pauline, a thin woman with dark eyes 5 years older than you who seemed to be somewhat idle, Elisa, his eldest sister whom Napoléon seemed most fond of, and Carolina of course, Joachim Murat's wife. The only one you hadn't met was Louis, who was off in the Netherlands, who you had discovered was married to Hortense, Joséphine's daughter. Napoléon told you he regretted putting those two together, they seemed to despise each other, and especially now, with Napoléon being divorced.

He had asked about your family, but soon remembered that you were an only child and so were both of your parents. It was weird to be around such a big family. Most of Napoléon's siblings thought it was odd he had chosen you as a lover, but thought you were okay, well, almost everyone except Lucien. Most dismissed his lovers, knowing they were flings, but Lucien could tell his brother was serious about you, for whatever reason.

You had been spending as much time with Étiennette as possible, you'd be gone for at least a month and wanted to give her all the love she needed. She was growing but still didn't make any noise or crawl. Napoléon said it was normal from what he'd seen, saying babies all developed at different times, but you were still worried, to the point you sometimes slept in her room due to anxiety. Napoléon didn't try to stop you, he knew how mothers were with their little ones. He saw it as a sign of a good woman, and a fertile and healthy one as well, which he needed.

Most days were like the others. As the days drew closer to the departure date, you became a little more nervous and bit your fingernails little by little. Napoléon was spending more time discussing tactics with his generals. Sometimes you'd stay in the back, listening to them say words you'd never heard before. It scared you sometimes to the point you'd have to leave the room and go play with Étiennette.

But before you knew it, the 1st of March came, and you awoke early, before the sun could shine through the curtains. You took in a long stare at the man you loved the most and sighed, there wasn't much to worry about when he was around, for he was the one who saved you.

You began dressing in a plain yellow dress and tied back your hair. The first part of the journey would be going through France to Spain. This part would be the safest and easiest, and for the first time ever, you'd be able to see the places you desired to, even if for a moment. The first part would be 8 days and then you'd reach Spain. The second part would be going through Spain until you reached Salamanca. This would take 7 days and you'd split up from there, but 2 days later you'd met him back in Vila Real. From there he'd take Portugal for himself and you'd be with him in less than a week if everything went well. Napoléon's brother Joseph was king of Spain, so you had little worry there.