Every girl or boy wants a perfect body nowadays, we're one's revolutionary, we didn't care how people dressed or looked or even spoke.
People think it doesn't hurt when they tell you how horrible you look, how miserable and weak, so fat or ugly.
I can still remember the never ending fight of body modification and experimentacion, I remember my mother calling out my name the day I hit 13.
Oh your too skinny, are you going to ware that?
You look like a punk I despise you, look at me I'm better than you''
My mother could never let it go it was always a never ending war of vanity and greed.
It was a never ending competition that made me, yes I'll admit a little unhinged.
When I hit 15 and 16 I got some strech marks on my athletic body because I had severe anxiety with food in the pandemic.
Oh how I wish I hadn't, I think one can only have nightmares of how much people despise you when your fat and ''ugly''.
My mother one's started shouting and insulting me infront of everyone when I was showering.
I only had a beekiny in a private place, but as soon as I wore her tight pants, and they couldn't fit, quiete literally pooled them off, ov'e me and forced me to walk and cover up with a bickini and a transparent blouse around every corner.
It was humiliating for someone as subtle as me, all I ever wear are black jeans and thights with a bindor and dark close, and I have a bad habbit of covering my whole body too hide all the bruises and claw marks I inflict upon myself, yes I self harm and it's a burden I carry too this day one's you start you can never stop, it's too late there's no going back.
I rember one time this summer of 2023 when I finally hit fucking 18.
I was so realived so free, I could finally escape it all, I could be free.
..But nothing could prepar me for what was about to happen to me next.
YOU ARE READING
Butterfly Black
Non-FictionIn a world where you feel like you don't fit in, discovering who you are and what you want to be isn't easy...
