Butterfly Black

Death

If you're even a little bit like me idolizing death is like a drug, it feels so good you can't stop wishing for it to happen, hoping that one day you might die and suffer because you believe you deserve it so much no one can convince you otherwise.

Even if you convince yourself otherwise it just comes back to you one way or the other, like a dark fogh thats slowly drowning you until you can't bear it any longer.

Death is a wonderful and horrible thing at the same time, what I am most grateful for is that I'm not afraid of dying like most people are at least I will go happily and peacufully.

But for someone who has come so close to death and survived so many times you realize you don't really want to die, I guess what they say is true if someone is drowning they will fight to the very end to survive, even if it was their intention to die in the first place.

In my case I'm gratefully ungreatfull the world won't even fucking let me do that!

I know it's wrong but that's just the way I feel, people are bad and when your falling apart it seems like the whole world is out to get me, like it want's to eat you alive and make you suffer.

When the storm is over it'll be too late for you cause the damage is already beating you to the bone one by one by you're own hand every muscle every hair hurts the pain is so umberable you can't even think straight.

I can't even sleep cause I'm so exauhsted, I went ahead and did it again didn't I?

Didn't mean it I had a grate day today, I had a nice chicken hamburger with mom I got really hurt when I was skating but I didn't hurt myself much...

I don't really wanna die I'm kinda scared too, I guess that's good..

Where born we live and then we day it's as simple as that, and if we don't live we die on the inside before even dying if you know what I'm saying.

Bitch live you're fucking life speak freealy, dress however you want and do whatever you want it's you're life, don't give a fuck what people say!

Fuck everybody, I don't mean sexually though...

Don't be ashamend if your gay trans asexual bisexual pansexual trisexual who knows what the fuck else, these terms are so confusing and ficcious to me.

You can love and fuck whoever you want wenever you wan't.