angst oneshots

"𝓝𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰" 𝓽𝓾𝓫𝓫𝓸 𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓼𝓽

                                                                               (No TWS I dont think)                                                                                  

                                                                            Tubbo's point of view:

I had been tossing and turning in my bed for what felt like hours. I was currently staring at the ceiling. I reached over and unlocked my phone to see many notifications from various people, which I'd decided to look at later. Checking the time, I realized it had only been around 45 minutes. I groaned and turned off my phone before staring at the ceiling once again. For some reason I couldn't feel anything, and it felt like my mind was completly blank. I hated the feeling that often happened after hanging out with friends, or having a pretty good day. My mind always liked to ruin the mood. I really disliked the feeling, because I didnt feel happy or sad or scared or anything. Just grey. Not black cause thats a basic gacha life emo kid and we cannot have that, but grey. It represents grey area, because I dont really know how I'm feeling. Whenever this happens, I always want to cry, but the grey feeling blocks it out, and I just cant. I try really hard but I never can for some reason. Is this what depression is? No, it cant be depression. People have it so much worse than  I do and I'm sitting here and moping? I'm such an attention seeker. I play with the bandana that was carefully tied on my wrist. I always fiddled with it when I was nervous or bored. It had never failed to remind me of tommy, and while sometimes it made me happy, looking back at all the wonderful memories, but now was a time it made me sad. I thought about how when we were younger, we planned our whole future out. We were going to live together in a big house and we would let random kids on the server stay with us for however long they wanted to. We planned to have two indoor cats, Olive and Callie ( Tommy's idea) and there would be a huge bee farm in our backyard ( my idea) and we'd live close to all of our friends. We would've been so happy. I started to become sad thinking about Tommy (which was the first emotion I'd felt all day) as I had just realized our plans would be impossible. I had exiled Tommy around 2 weeks ago. I really didnt want to do it, but Dream had forced me into it. I miss Tommy quite a bit. I was surprised when I realized there was a tear running down my cheek. Once I started, I couldn't stop, and many, many tears ran down my face. I cried for hours, about anything and everything, before finally becoming so exhausted I finally drifted off to sleep.

455 words 

A/N sorry this didnt have much angst, I wasnt really feeling sad when I wrote this, but I also wasnt happy enough for fluff, so this is what you get. It was kind of just written to post something but nobody needs to know that. Anyways it is 10:43, which is not that late but yeah anyways bye-

Date written: January 2nd, 2022 

Date Published: January 3rd, 2022