Southern Nights {The Originals Shorts + Preferences}

By Light Of Fire (Kol Short)

Name: Kol || Orgin: Norse || Meaning: Dark

Kol Mikaelson had always quite enjoyed the dark. He was a creature of darkness and if he were being honest, that darkness had been his most reliable ally for the last one thousand years. The shadows he'd learned to play in granted him refuge, blessed him with anonymity, hid him from view, and waited patiently with him as that damn constant hunger clawed at his insides. The darkness didn't judge him for it. If anything it encouraged his sinister urges.

But it was more than that too - the darkness was more than just an ally. It was his confidante, his relief. The darkness was Kol's friend. It let him stay within its velvet folds, safe and sound, where he didn't have to look, where he didn't have to see the thing inside him come out and do what it always did. He could just watch everything as if he wasn't really there, as if he had become one with the shadows that lurked in that cold, lonely alleyway behind that pub in London where he'd taken that poor girl and too many like her.

He could love her - make himself feel loved - at least for a little while.

(Kol had never been a firm sort of person. It wasn't weakness, of course. He wasn't weak - he couldn't be weak. He'd just never been good at saying no - not for long anyway. It wasn't his fault... It just couldn't be his fault.)

Until it became too much for him.

(It wasn't his fault. The hunger was awful and he hated that he'd do anything to make it stop. But it never stopped. Kol couldn't make it stop. He hated it so much and it hurt so bad. He just wanted it to stop!)

Until her heartbeat was all he could hear.

(It filled his ears, pounding out a low melody that lulled him into submission. It sounded so pleasant, so delicious, so wonderful, and it sounded like release - like release from that terrible hunger inside him. It was always the same and Kol knew it was a lie - he knew that - but he just couldn't help but listen.)

Until the moment was perfect.

(And, oh, was she perfect. Eyes, lips, hair, skin - all so perfect and he had her all to himself. Kol knew he was losing when he moved on from her lips and began kissing that sweet girl along the line of her jaw. It felt so good and it was almost real and he wanted more, so he fought to keep himself away from her throat. He listened to her moan, trying to focus on that, but it wasn't enough - her heartbeat drowned out all else. Kol pushed her up against a wall, pressing her closer to him and trying to appreciate the way her body felt, but he could smell her blood and the aroma set his throat on fire. He dug his fingers into the flesh of her thighs, bruising her, clinging to her like she was a lifeline and maybe the lust would keep the hunger at bay. But it couldn't. He couldn't. Kol slid his lips up and down the girl's throat. He really wasn't weak.)

Until he lost sight of what he was hoping to find.

(He'd always been told he'd never find it. Kol didn't know what 'it' was supposed to be exactly but it was good. At least, that's what everyone had always said. This girl Kol had in his arms - the things he was doing to her - they were just parts of a whole. Those things were just a faded echo of a song Kol didn't know how to listen to. He had never heard what it was supposed to sound like. No one had ever cared to show him. No one had tried to help him understand. Not that it mattered now; he supposed it wouldn't ever matter. He was too distracted by the hunger to listen to anything more than that girl's heartbeat, anyway. Kol wished he could. He wished he knew how to listen - how to regret his actions - but he didn't. This 'thing' others had told him about was supposed to be beautiful, but it wasn't because it felt empty more than anything because Kol was simply going through the motions. He didn't know any better. He didn't know how to know any better. No one had taught him. No one had explained. He was just expected to know but he didn't. Was that his fault? No, that couldn't be his fault. But none of that would ever matter because this condition - this curse - didn't care.)