Fallen

New Year: We kissed amidst the waves

No one had approached me that night. Most probably because of my friend, who unfortunately was a guy and was also unfortunately very overprotective.

I wanted to be hit on. How shallow that my confidence depended on men finding me attractive.

You came to talk to me when I was alone for a minute. You said my friend was really intimidating. And indeed he was. He awkwardly sat nearby. To an outsider, it must have looked as though my friend had an unrequited crush on me. That was not the case.

I explained that to you. We talked for longer. I asked you about your tattoos, you asked me about my life.

We talked about this and that for a while. Was I desperate for attention, God knows what I was thinking. You'd not even hinted at it, but I told you that I'm not sleeping with you. And then got really embarrassed when you pointed that you'd not asked.

You asked me if kissing was on the table. I said yes. You asked me if I'd like to take a walk to the beach nearby. I said yes again. We held hands and sat together again. We kept talking for a while.

Why do I not recall most of what we talked about? I don't know.

Holding someone's hand always did feel nice. It had been a little too long since I last did. It was warm.

We took the steep steps down to the beach at 4:00 am in the morning

We held hands and kept walking till we reached a pretty desserted place. I took off my shoes and walked towards the ocean. You'd insisted you would not.

Why did you choose to follow...I don't know. Your shoes were wet. We were surrounded by rocks, sand and the calm ocean.

You kissed me, and I kissed you back. We kept kissing for a while. It'd been a while since I last kissed someone too, it was nice.

We sat by the rock and talked again. You took every chance to kiss me senseless. I didn't let you take it too far ahead.

We saw people a little far ahead, we saw a man come pretty close and then head away. It was risky but sweet, because it did not go further than kissing.

When we decided to walk back, the ocean had neared our shoes which we'd taken off and kept far away. We walked hand in hand through the empty beach. A lady offered to braid my hair. I declined.

Climbing the steps was hard, I was seriously out of breath. That must have been so unattractive. You walked me back, not to the common hostel area, but to my room. We kissed before we parted.

I changed my jeans which were wet from sitting on the rocks. I cleaned up a little and I was going to head out. You came and knocked on the door again.

You said you wanted to check if I had your key with me. I said I didn't. But I asked you to wait. Then I came out, and I walked you back yet again. I asked you if you wanted my number.

You said we'd probably never meet again. I said okay. Then you changed your mind and told me to give you my number. You looked so cute, even with that unkept beard and dreads you were trying to grow out.

I said it'll be on you if you want to keep in touch. You texted immediately, then you forgot about me.

But I did feel something for you, even if it was just attraction on a night when I was high out of my mind. I've not felt anything in years, so it was beautiful.

I wish there was more to this story. But this is where it ends. To my sweet fling, thank you for granting me exactly what I wanted on that night. You were the best thing that happened to me on New Year.

I will keep this memory close with every other one I've chosen to treasure and put away.