I Thought You Knew

Chapter 3 - Broken Promises

CHAPTER 3:

Broken Promises

After the wedding:

"No, no, no! Kathryn! Kathryn, don't leave!" He screamed in between choked sobs. It was useless. She'd left already. Chakotay wasn't ready to face what he did. What had he done? How could he, of all people, betray her? He swore to stay by her side, to make her burden lighter, which he had done, up until now.

Annika stepped outside.

"Chakotay! What happened? Are you alright?" she said, sounding very concerned.

He made no gesture to acknowledge her presence.

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Let's go back."

His voice sounded empty. As if the man speaking to her wasn't even alive at all, as if he'd lost the will to live.

The wedding reception continued, the crew ate dinner, and Chakotay smiled. He needed to pretend he was happy. At least he was a good actor.

The crew had their steely-eyed gazes locked on Seven. The girl their captain had treated as her own, marrying the love of her "mother's" life.

In Adm. Janeway's apartment at Starfleet Headquarters:

"Wow, today was quite the day, huh?" she thought to herself.

"The love of your life just got married to another woman, even worse, you treated and loved that girl as your own daughter. Well played, Kathryn," she muttered.

There were so many "what ifs" and "Whys" lingering in her mind.

"What if I never let Seven on board?"

"What if I let go of protocol, and had a relationship with him? Would it have prevented today from happening?"

"What if I..."

"Why didn't I..."

"Goddamn, Kathryn! Why didn't you just let him love you?" she screamed in anguish.

She remembered all the instances where Chakotay had shown that he loved her. New Earth, that shuttle crash, and all his little hints over the years.

With that, she changed into her nightclothes, washed her face, and cried herself to sleep. She had truly lost him. This was even more painful than losing Justin, than losing Mark. Oh, but she would get over it. Wouldn't she?