Choi Mujin Imagines

All too well - Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9: COMPROMISE?

The Parting part 1

24 – Aera, 26 – Mujin

After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own
Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

After months of constant fights, the yelling, the crying, Mujin didn't know why he's so shocked right now. He shouldn't be surprised to find her closet empty. To see no signs of Aera in their shared apartment, except for the gifts he bought her and her scent.

But no, she should've at least told him, she shouldn't just vanish like this. What they had was not something so simple, something so little. He at least deserved that much.

He knew that sooner or later, they would have to part ways. But not like this, not without seeing her.

So he sighed in relief once he heard someone opening the door, and in came Aera, her eyes was full of determination, she looked tired.

"Look, I apologize for punching your colleague. I just lost it–" He started off but she just shook her head.

"That isn't what this is about, Mujin." She stared at him, looking so tired of everything, she looked equally miserable as him. "I'm so tired with all the fights, the violence, the blood, bruises on your face, you and your drug ring." She became teary-eyed as she stared at her boyfriend. "This isn't the life that I wanted, this isn't what I expected us to be, this isn't what I wanted me to be. When was the last time you were able to sleep peacefully? Hell, I can't even remember the last time that I could. Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately, Mujin? I'm starting to feel like you're a stranger. This isn't who you are,"

"What if you falsely made up an image of me and this is the real me, Aera?"

She shook her head violently as she stared at him. "No, I refuse to believe that this is the man I fell in love with." She stepped closer to him, holding his face. "Why don't you start again? Leave Dongcheon—"

Mujin tore her hand away from his face. "I can't. This is who I am now, Aera, it can't be undone, even if I leave now... there's too much..." there's too much blood on his hands already. "You have to understand... this is the real me and not the Mujin you knew from years ago."

Aera wants him to start again, with her, to leave Dongcheon.

Mujin wants her to understand, to accept who he really is.

Leave or stay?

Both of them, unwilling to compromise to each other's wants.

With that, Aera's tears started falling down, the reality finally sinking into her. "Then, there's no other way."  She wiped the tears that were falling in her face. "I don't see the reason why we should persist on staying together if one of us couldn't compromise with each other, we'll only be miserable together. So let's stop creating more bad memories now, Mujin." Aera was about to turn around, wanting to leave the apartment before she changes her mind, but she froze in her place when Mujin tried to step closer to her.

"So that's it? Those years... this is how it ends?" Mujin asked, walking closer to her but she just stepped back, as if she was scared of him. This pained Mujin, he hated seeing her fear him. Little did he know what she was scared of. She was scared that she'd cave in once again.

"Are you confident that you can spend the rest of your life without me?" He had to ask, because he never imagined not having her in his life, he hoped that she did too.

"If leaving you meant I could get my peace of mind back, if it meant I would stop hating and feeling sorry for myself, or feeling guilty for other people..." She trailed off for a few seconds, hoping that Mujin can understand her answer.

At that moment, Mujin's eyes changed. It was sinking in, she's made up her mind, she's really leaving. "I'll ask you again. Are you confident that you can spend the rest of your life without me?"

Maybe not now, but in time. This relationship isn't going anywhere. Yes, that's what Aera thought as she tried to convince herself.

"Yes," For the last time, Aera answered his question once again. "I'd rather leave and be alone, than to stay with you and be miserable together." With that, she turned around and placed her hand on the door knob.

That was not the answer that he was expecting.

"Then go. Go, and never come back."

And that was not the word that he wanted to say.

Stay.

She stopped for a few seconds, Mujin almost thought that he had said it out loud, that she'd change her mind, only to see her opening their door and stepping out of both their apartment and his life.

8 years of their life together, down the drain. Along with the years that they've looked forward to share.