The pretend

chapter 7

Everett

"Oh man you seem to be in your head" I look towards Wes with a shake of my head pushing away my still full plate of food.

"I have many things on my mind" I replied putting my hand on my chin in thoughts.

"Like what" Walla asks putting a full fork of salads in his mouth. I always wonder how he gets to eat that all the time but he does. He is vegan but man eating vegetables all the time and not Change seems difficult to me.

"Like Jared's parents who wants me to move out so that he can move in with a girl" I sigh "the fact that I'm not a woman who can give him a baby so that we can be perfect" it's been bagging me and I wish I can at least full fill something, if I was a woman it would have been easier on both of us but no, I had to be a fuckin man. I'm a gay man and I'm proud but there times like this I admire straight dudes, they just get a easy way out just because they are doing the right thing.

But we gay people had suffered so much, we risk too much, I mean, we lose families, lives, friends, jobs and so much. There are many gay men or women who don't have a thing just because of the society that we live in. We force ourselves to be happy but when you hear someone telling you that you will burn in hell, scares the shit out of me yet I just want to happy.

What is the harm in that.

I'm not hurting anyone.

Now look what I'm into just because I love another dick in me or when I full another's man's ass with my own.

I understand Jared so much,he might lose them, he will lose everything because the company he has now is still owned by his father. The man handles everything and I fear for him. Jared is a person who grew up in luxury things and if he loses it, will I be able to fullfil his needs. Sexually yes because he loves dick and I have a dick but what about his standards of living.

And I know my baby, he wasn't that brave like me. He will weep and not be happy if his parents are not in his life. I don't want my baby sad that's why I'm into this relationship. But man it gets harder and harder each fucken day.

"Oh my God they are assholes" Wes says with a roll of his eyes.

"They make me feel bad,as in, like I'm not enough for him even though they don't know about us. You would have seen how they talked or look at me" I sigh deeply

"Jared has to tell them, they have to stop disrespecting you. Soon or later they will find out that you married their son" Walla said

"If only I was perfect, this would have been easier" I voice out my thoughts

"You're perfect Everett don't let anyone make you feel like you're not" Wes touches my shoulder squeezing it softly to show me that he was with me.

"I know Wes, thanks" I smile at him, these two were right. They had become my family

"I can't believe a grown-up ass man like Jared still fears his parents as in what the fuck. He is turning thirty" Walla shrugged, "I will never get that" he put a mouth full of vegetables in his mouth as I rolled my eyes. They don't understand.

"Did you get a pretend Eva?" Wes asked shaking his head too, changing the subject.

"Still looking, all of them don't fit my description. I don't want to get a girl who has attachment issues" I shrug

"Let me ask you something" Walla interjected looking around the book shop as if he didn't want anyone to listen to us "if you can really get pregnant, will you be able to carry the baby" he whispered

"What the fuck are you trying to say" Wes asks the same question which was on the tip of my tongue.

"Like as you know my cousin is a dad now, do you know who gave birth to his child" we look at Walla like he had gone mad or something.