The pretend

Chapter 25

Jared.

"It's ok baby I'm here, I'm not going anywhere" Everett cooed in that soft voice of his as I cringed to him tears still flowing down my face. When I saw him standing outside of my parent's house, I couldn't believe it, I couldn't believe that the love of my life was there in front of me and no matter how much I tried to not cry, the tears wouldn't stop flowing.

My emotions were everywhere and I don't know which I can settle with coz first I was happy that Everett was here with me and second, picturing the look of disgust in my parent's eyes made me cry more. Good thing Everett was able to get me out there and took me to his apartment and when we reached, I couldn't help but break into his arms again bawling my eyes out.

Good thing he hasn't stopped holding me for a second and I'm glad.

"They hate me" I muttered in his chest sobbing.

"I know" he took a deep breath pushing his hand through my hair trying to calm me down. We spent another hour or so like that with him holding me close until I stopped sobbing lifting my head out of his chest as I looked at him with hooded puff eyes. "Do you feel a little bit better?" he asked with a small smile. I nodded still not believing that he was here with me. He was here holding me "Let me get you a glass of water" I stopped him, seeing that he was struggling to get up.

"It's ok, I'm not thirsty," I say with a small smile.

"Jar, go get a bottle of water and drink some, your lips are dry" he ordered. I sighed standing up not wanting to defy him as I walked toward the small refrigerator pulling out a small bottle of water and downing it. I really needed it, he was right.

My eyes wandered around looking at his small peaceful apartment. It suits him. I went back sitting next to him biting my lips nervously not knowing what to say right now.

"Nice place" I blurted out coz it was getting awkward, it was like we'd just met and we didn't know what to talk about.

"Thanks," He said fumbling with his hands which were placed on his belly nervously. "I'm so sorry Jared," he says swallowing hard.

"Why are you saying sorry, matter of fact, I'm the one who has to say sorry," I ask confused.

"I made you come out and look what happened..., I'm sorry" he looked at me with worried eyes.

"It's not your fault Ev, you didn't make me come out. I decided to do it and I knew the consequences" I shrugged.

"If I didn't leave you, you wouldn't have done it so it's partly my fault. I forced you which isn't cool at all" he says with regretful eyes.

"You didn't force me Everett, soon or later I would have done coz no matter what I wouldn't have hidden that part of me any longer. I'm a grown-up ass man, I had to do it" I say softly biting my lips. "I spent this whole past weeks thinking so hard, I love you and I love my parents but you Everett, you loved me unconditionally, did things no man can do for me and I thought if my parents love me, they would also love me with all my flaws, that's what love means and it will get better" I rumbled feeling bad for myself.

"It does get better but it still leaves inside us forever and it hurts sometimes" he whispered touching his heart "when I lost my family I fault like I have lost the biggest part of my life. But I was happy and free, to love who I wanna love coz that's who I am but it gets hard sometimes. They are part of us, the people we had known all our lives so it hurts trust me I know" I sighed deeply.

"How do you make it hurt less," I asked coz his always so damn happy.

"I have friends who care about me," he replies lowly "and most especially I had you Red, you made my coming out and losing my family worthy, waking up in your arms, made me the happiest and I never regretted coming out to them since I met you. You made every day worth losing them" he says looking deep into my eyes.