The pretend

Chapter 22

Ev

"Ummm guys, can I ask you something" Wes, walla, and Nick look at me pausing the game we were watching and giving me their full attention.

"What is it," Wes asks with worry in his voice.

"Are you ok" Nick stands up from the floor and sat on the couch beside me concern in his eyes. I hate that they look at me like this. They worry too much.

"I am fine so stop worrying ok" I roll my eyes putting my hands on my lap.

"We can't stop from worrying Ev, you look bad really bad," Walla said.

"It's because I am hurting. Am I not allowed to hurt and feel heartbroken" I say with arched brows.

"It's ok to feel like that but we're just concerned about your health and the baby. We don't want anything to happen to you" Nick said putting his hand in mine smiling fondly at me. He is such a good friend, he had been so supportive ever since he found out about me and Jared. He hadn't left my side and I appreciate it.

"Thanks, guys I will be ok and so will the baby" I breathe out slowly

"Ok so you wanted to ask us something" Wes reminded.

"Yes um... The day I asked Jared for a divorce" a tear slid down my face just thinking about it, days had passed and it still hurts so much. It hasn't stopped and I don know if it will "he said that me coming out to my parents knowing that they will not accept me was selfish of me" I took in a deep breath. "Does that mean that I didn't love them? Does that mean I didn't value their love? Am I a bad person to do that to my parents. I would have not come out to them?" I have been thinking about it for days now and its have been making my head spin. All I know is that I loved my parents dearly and it hurt me to lose them but the way Jared said it made me feel like I am a bad person to do that to them.

"He said that to you," Nick asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, he said I didn't value them as he values his, and I don't know... it's making me feel...I don't know coz I thought I did it for myself, does hurting them mean that I didn't value them or love them" I asked looking down and biting my lips nervously.

"Jared is a coward, he was justifying his actions," Wes snorted.

"Let me tell you something Everett" Nick adjusted in his seat facing me "coming out to our loved ones doesn't mean that we don't love them or value their feelings or love. Matter of fact, we come out to them because we love them and we know that no matter what, they should love us the way we are" he paused looking at me "if they can't accept the way we are, that means they don't love us. Anyone who loves you dearly has to accept all your flaws"

"So Jared is wrong, no matter what choose happiness" Wes added smiling at me. I nodded slowly, they were right. I chose happiness over living in fear or getting married to some church girl when I know for sure that that wasn't my preference.

All I wish is for Jared to come to his senses, to know that I will be there for him even if his parents don't accept him which I know they will never. The guy is living in fear just because of them, how much longer can he take it? I sigh deeply looking up at my friends who were also looking at me.

"I want to go..."

"Don't think about it" Walla cut me off instantly not waiting for me to continue. "No crawling back to him Ev, he is going to hurt you over and over again so please don't" he added.

"We're not allowing you to go back there if he doesn't change" Nick added.

"Oh my God guys, chill. Am not talking about Jared" I roll my eyes