Itzy imagines

wylin-yeji.

i was feeling some angst hehe >:D turned out pretty unangsty

yeji x gn!reader

song recs : Wylin- Always Never

Paradise- The Neighbourhood

Sometimes-Honne (cover)

word count: 1.4K, not proofread, wrote this at 2 so im a lil groggy

mentions of suicide, alcoholism and heavy drug usage

Red lights, hearty drinks, rooming with your ride or die, paradise? Definitely sounded like a ideal christmas.

Not quite.

Hearty drinks leniently consisted of drinks nothing short of anything that'll give you heartburns. Alcohol tasted like water, a generous aide in numbing you to reserve sanity, but your desire for constant sanity had you gripping your fingers around any bottle you could find.

Your ride or die was never home much either. Rooming with her was supposed to be so much more than just her sinking down beside you at the ungodliest hours in the morning. As opposed to you, yeji was thriving. Even with average grades, status as campus school belle had opened numerous doors for yeji, with a price, of course. It was like she had been corrupted.

red lights were no lesser of an accurate symbol of your relationship. yes, it was a unsuspecting, naive, and young love that had a uncertain expiry date, what went wrong? Was it when you found the hickies yeji had after that business trip she had. Maybe it was that night out with the girls that ended with lipstick stains on her back, or was it when her boss had to call you on multiple occasions to fetch a drunk yeji home from his mansion?

To put it simply, you were in denial.

yeji and you went way back, before you were lovers you were childhood best friends, having watched each other grow. You always stuck around when she got her heart broken by boys that you claim looked like sid from ice age. yeji would always laugh at your silly jokes, wait for you after school when you had to serve detention. You were a wallflower, the social butterfly, chairperson of volunteer club, it wasn't like there weren't anyone crushing on you either, if anything lots of juniors had secret crushes on you, it was just yeji being extremely protective of you that had kept a confession letter-filled locker away. After all, yeji can come off as untouchable when she wants to. Prom was, well, messy.

The realization that you've caught feelings hit you. Hard. Unassuming drinking games at 17 had a drunk yeji confessing to you, it did not help that her brother hyunjin and you were talking in secret. Drunk yeji was a sight to behold. Usually reserved and cold , a tsundere basically, she did a 180, now a giggly mess and teasing you, brushing her hands up your arms and intertwining your hands together, casually flirting with you as if her boyfriend did not exist. "y/n if we were the last two people left on earth would you marry me?" If she asked, you weren't going to tell her anything happened, this moment, which you found endearing, was meant for your eyes only, you thought to yourself.

yeji's jackass of a boyfriend decided to conveniently cheat on her birthday a few weeks down the road, so you took advantage of it and finally put a end to your friendship, to become lovers of course. You've had so many of your firsts with her it only seemed sensible to reserve yourself and for her to be your first girlfriend. yeji treated you well, always replenishing the cuddle bar, making sure you were well fed, well rested, and with that, you both survived university. As much as you felt spoiled by yeji, you could never shake off the feeling that she could have done so much more, she had so much potential, she just lowered herself to your level so that she could be with you. She had gotten offers from much prestigious universities that would've you on their waiting lists, while you were a arts faculty student that everyone thought would become a starving artist.

The relationship had turned turbulent once university ended, and you had to admit, as much as you loved yeji, you were certain she did too, as a kin. She did not bother hiding her magically appearing hickies anymore, or the dark musk scent she comes home with every friday night, and her business trips were getting longer, coupled with more and more additional overtime hours.

You would take any of it you could get, after all now yeji's time was precious. She made a few hundred dollars per hour, while you made enough to get by, but never taking up her offers to spoil you with money. you believed in working hard for a living. Now roles reversed, as you were now the one making trips to unexplored bakeries and cafes, picking up pastries for yeji, taking care of all the housework while you were a full time writer. your books were doing pretty well, but commission normally ate up your salary, but it never discounted or lessened how much you would spend on yeji's snacks. <3

You refused to admit that you and yeji have been dirfting apart.

For along time now.

Breaking up would mean that you'll lose not just your lover, but your best friend, roomie, all at once, and you had trouble coming to terms with it. Being a psych major and a writer did not help in understanding yourself either, being the chronic overthinker you are, you began to wither.

pills were fun shaped relievers you have, on many accounts, over relied on. As days flew past, the thought of wanting to go frequented your mind. There were times you had been called in the middle of your suicide attempts by what you make out as yeji's colleagues to pick up a wasted yeji from clubs and bars all around town, which only added on to your pain. You wanted to disappear, but of course, you did not want to upset yeji, so when yeji had walked in on you toying around with your tiny bottle of anti depressants, soaking yourself in the bathtub, she felt she only had herself to blame. For not letting you go sooner. She had no knowledge of your suffering, the facade you put on of a bubbly home writer golden retriever s/o had worked on her. That did not stop her from engaging, still, in frivolous activities, after all, she's worked herself to the bone for this, she just needed to do it in secret, thats all.

You had tried to explain to her that it would just be better off for the both of you that you leave, but yeji's sense of responsibility, or so you thought, wouldnt let it slide. You had overheard a call between yeji and her boss and it broke your heart, seeing that yeji had become the person she vowed she would never become, a compulsive liar. She had referred to you as a sibling that was visiting, to her boss, and that's when you knew you could not take it anymore. What more than to give her a final christmas present?

Yeji seemed to thrive in this toxicity, while you were feet deep into hell every. single. day. waking up, eating, falling asleep was a task hardly not accompanied by tears, but of course yeji wouldn't notice, she was too convinced that she was sleeping with her boss for a better future for the both of you, but her future was slipping away right before her very own hands. Her self righteousness was overbearing, so finally playing your favourite song (Honne-Sometimes cover), you took time to walk around the apartment you were going to miss, one last time. So many memories made here, nights getting wasted, up studying for finals, and dances you shared with her. You scrubbed the apartment clean of your existence. Photos, jewellery, your clothes, your little plant named stan, and not to forget, your cardigan that always hung by the coathanger, the one yeji always stole as students, the lesser trace there is of you, the easier life would be for yeji too right? Taking one last glance at the apartment, the living room, the kitchen, the shared bedroom, you smiled to yourself, satisfied, before shutting the windows, placing down the decorated christmas card, and locking the door, not turning back. This time, for good, hers, and yours. This was the end of you and yeji's story, though the last chapter of your adventures had ended years ago.

"Even though you can't love, its all I ever asked of you."

The beginning of a new chapter was long overdue, yeji might have given up on you, but you couldn't fail yourself a second time.

A Christmas miracle, indeed.