To be or not to be. (Yoonseok)

Chapter 25

"I do like him in that way," I felt my heart sink to the floor. My mind got foggy and my vision got blurry.

Yoongi POV

"What?" I could feel myself get weaker every second
"I'm sorry," he sniffled and covered his face
"I- I need to umm lay down," I said and slowly leaned back and laid on the floor. Hoseok shuffled closer and took my hand
"Yoongi, I- I like both of you. And I don't know why I like him the same amount as you, but I do and- and it's all messed up. I know it's my fault, I know I shouldn't have slept with him that night, but it happened, and even tho it's making everything difficult, it felt and still feels right to like him," as those words left his mouth I could feel my heartache. I know that we weren't a couple, I know that he was free to like whoever he wants and sleep with anyone. But it made me feel like the rest, when I knew that he only liked me I felt special, needed, wanted, and most importantly loved. But now it feels like it's been taken away
"Please don't be mad," he sobbed. I sat up and looked into his eyes
"I'm not mad, I have no right to be mad. It's your life and your decisions. I don't want to keep you from liking anyone else, if he's the one that you want, go to him, but please don't make a decision that you'll regret," I softly said and looked into his eyes
"Don't- don't leave," he cried out and hugged me
"Please don't leave," he hugged me tighter. My heart was aching my head was spinning and the world was suddenly unbalanced.
"If you want me to stay, I'll stay," I weakly smiled
"Thank you," he wrapped his arms around me and we laid down on the floor.

"Awww, you guys look adorable," Jimin said as he sat down on the couch and turned on the tv. I looked up at him and shushed him, Hoseok was still asleep and I'm sure he needed it
"Oh, sorry," he lowered the volume on the TV and took a sip from his coffee
"How are you feeling?" He quietly asked
"Weird, I'm not like angry or anything I'm just a bit..." I didn't know how to finish the sentence
"Heartbroken?" Jimin stepped in
"Yeah, I still love him-"
"Wow! You love him?!" Jimin looked surprised
"Well yeah," I said and his eyes widened
"Oh, ok. Keep going,"
"Right, well I do love him but I just don't want to keep him from being with someone he loves, even if it's Taehyung..." Silence filled the room. Jimin cleared his throat and said
"Well, if he doesn't decide what are you gonna do?" He asked
"He'll have to eventually, but for the time being, I'll just be the same with him. I don't want to change our relationship just because he has feelings for Tae. And if he wants, he can keep being with him as well, I just won't let it get to me." I sighed and looked at Hoseok, he looked tired and messy, my heart couldn't handle it, I pecked his lips and carefully got up so I wouldn't disturb his sleep,
"Wouldn't that kill you tho?" Jimin asked as I sat down on the couch next to him
"Maybe, but as long as he's happy, I'll be happy,"
"Sure but how long can you be happy if the person you love, and who loves you, also loves someone else and does... y'know things with them as well," I sighed
"I don't know, all I know is that I don't want to lose him. Because I haven't been this happy in years," Jimin placed his hand on my shoulder
"I don't know what to say... good luck I guess," he shrugged. I nodded and rubbed my eyes.

As Jimin and I were watching TV, Hoseok was peacefully sleeping on the floor, surrounded by hundreds of blankets and pillows. He looked like a little burrito.

It was around 01:00 pm when Hoseok started to wake up, he was very disoriented and confused. He sat up for a moment but almost immediately laid back down. I got off the couch and sat down next to him
"Good morning," I softly said
"Morning," he yawned and placed his hands on his head
"Are you ok?" I asked
"I don't know, I feel weird," he curled up in a ball under the blanket. I patted his head
"It's ok, just lay down for a while. Would you like some water or coffee?"
"Some water would be nice," he weakly said
"Ok,"

As I walked over to the kitchen Jimin followed me
"So you don't feel at least a bit angry?" He asked. I rolled my eyes
"No, no I don't," I grabbed a glass from the cupboard
"I just think if I was you, I would've gone home already," he leaned against the counter as I poured water in the glass
"Well, I don't want to hurt him by leaving, plus it's not like it would make anything better. And also that's such a romantic drama moment, like 'oh no someone who is single is having sex with someone whos, not me, I must die of a heartbreak', like, no, that's so stupid." I said and started walking back to the living room
"But doesn't it hurt?" Jimin caught up to me
"A bit," I said and speed-walked to Hoseok.

Hoseok was sitting on the couch with a blanket wrapped around him
"Hey sweetie," I sat down next to him and handed him the glass, he looked very surprised
"What's wrong?" I tilted my head, he cleared his throat
"I wasn't expecting you to call me that..." he looked down at the glass that was in his hands. I felt my heartache
"It's nice, but I thought you wouldn't be so... understanding... I guess," he said and took a sip. I ruffled my hair and said
"Just because you explored your options doesn't mean I have to hate you, it just means I have to fight for you a little bit," he looked at me with tears in his eyes
"Hey, what's wrong?" I furrowed my eyebrows and placed a hand on his shoulder
"I just- I don't deserve you..." he sniffled
"And I'm just so lucky to have you," he cried out. I took his glass and set it on the coffee table, I opened my arms towards him and he fell into my embrace. He held onto me for dear life
"I don't deserve you either," I kissed the top of his head,
"But I hurt you and I-" I didn't let him finish his sentence
"It doesn't matter, you've made the happiest person alive in the last few months. I don't know what I would've done without you. I wouldn't have found happiness if it weren't for you," I squeezed him,
"Thank you," he said quietly
"For what?" I whispered
"For staying even tho I hurt you and for being my happiness," he sniffled. I felt my heart fill with joy and love as those words left his mouth. Yes, he had hurt me, yes, I was ready to throw Taehyung out of a window but being his happiness made all of it go away. I broke our hug and looked him in the eyes
"Hoseok," I said, he sniffled
"Yeah?"
"I love you,"