To be or not to be. (Yoonseok)

Chapter 27

Taehyung POV

I laid in bed, hugging my knees with Jungkook next to me. It had been a few days since Hoseok left, I was feeling horrible, my heart ached and I hadn't gone to work.

"Tae?" Jungkook called, I hummed in response
"You should shower," he placed a hand on my shoulder. I turned to him, he had a soft smile on. I sighed, I knew that I should but I had no strength to take care of myself
"Can you carry me?" I weakly asked, he chuckled
"Of course,"

The warm water ran down my body, I closed my eyes and just stood there. I didn't want to look around, this was the last place where I was with Hoseok, where we were happy. My breath quivered and I ran a hand through my hair.
"Fuck, I don't want to hate you," I said to myself
"I don't want to lose you," I was frustrated, upset, heartbroken, and sad. How could I do this to myself, I knew Hoseok liked Yoongi and I still let him be with me. I let myself hurt me and him.
I tried to control my breathing and calm my thoughts.

As I was drying myself there was a knock at the door,
"Yeah?"
"Hey, Tae Ummm, Hoseok and Yoongi are here," my heart stopped, Hoseok was here.
"Oh ok, I'll be there in a sec,"
"Are you ok?" he asked
"Uh yeah, of course," I stuttered a bit
"Alright, well be in the living room,"
"Ok," I heard Jungkook walk away and my legs went weak, I dropped to my knees. I took deep breaths and tried to calm myself. I wasn't scared, I was happy in a way, but I was also hurt.

I got out of the bathroom and changed into beige sweatpants and an oversized white shirt. I took one last deep breath and put on a fake smile before opening the door and stepping into the living room. Just as I stepped out I felt arms wrap around me. I jumped in surprise.
"Hi," the owner's voice was weak and it quivered a bit. I knew this person
"Hi Hobi," I wrapped my arms around his tiny frame and pulled him closer. No matter how hurt I was, I missed him and I needed him. I heard him sniffle
"I'm sorry TaeTae, I'm so so sorry," I stroked his back
"I'm sorry too Hobi," he chuckled through his tears and looked into my eyes
"Why are you sorry?"
"Because I knew you liked Yoongi a lot but I let myself get out of control," we stood there hugging each other until Yoongi said
"Are you gonna stand there the whole time?" I slowly broke the hug and I smiled at Hoseok, he smiled back. We walked over to the living space, Jungkook was sitting on the same couch as Yoongi, Hoseok sat between them and I sat down in the armchair. I nervously fidgeted with my fingers,
"Taehyung," Yoongi called my name, I looked up and saw him softly smiled
"Are you ok?" I felt my heart beating fast and I was confused by his question
"I- umm," I cleared my throat
"Yeah, I'm ok,"
"You sure?" I nodded. Hoseok leaned towards Yoongi and whispered in his ear. Yoongi nodded, I got anxious and fiddled my thumbs. The silence didn't make anything better, so I decided to break it
"So why are you guys here?" There was silence for a second
"I just wanted to come to visit, and Yoongi wanted to- ow! Yoongi what the hell!" Yoongi elbowed and death glared at Hoseok, he went quiet
"I wanted to talk to you," Yoongi said and I could feel a lump in my throat,
"Oh, y-yeah sure," I stuttered. Yoongi turned to Jungkook and Hoseok, they both got up and went over to the kitchen.

As they left, Yoongi motioned me to sit next to him. I got up and walked over. I sat down and started biting my nails, Yoongi took my hand and pulled it away so I wouldn't be able to bite them
"Calm down," he softly said. I straightened my back and cleared my throat
"So, what did you wanna talk about?" I asked
"Well, I wanted to tell you that I'm not mad at you. And if anything I wanted to say thank you," my eyes widened
"What? Thank me? Why?" I was confused
"Because you comforted Hoseok when he was devastated and you held him as he cried when I wasn't able to. Sure you had sex with him but Hoseok isn't mine, if you had his consent, then everything's ok," he held my hand. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, he was thanking me?
"I- wha- huh?" Yoongi smiled and hugged me
"Please don't be scared or nervous around me," I hugged him back and my eyes got glossy. Sure Yoongi didn't hate me but his words made me realize that Hoseok had chosen him. I silently sobbed but Yoongi noticed
"Hey, why are you crying?" He broke the hug and looked at me, he wiped my tears away
"I- I'm just- I umm," I didn't know how to tell him that I had strong feelings towards Hoseok,
"I'm sorry Yoongi, I'm sorry that I didn't control myself, I'm sorry that I wasn't a good friend," I tried to catch my breath
"I'm sorry that I like Hoseok," my heart ached as the fact that Hoseok chose Yoongi set in,
"Don't beat yourself over it, it's ok to like people, it's completely normal. And you don't need to be sorry," he placed his hands on my shoulders and tried to comfort me,
"Yoongi you don't understand, I really like him," tears rolled down my face, he pulled me in for another hug. I cried and hiccuped
"I'm sorry," he whispered.