𝑺𝑬𝑬𝑫 𝑶𝑭 𝑰𝑪𝑯𝑶𝑹 •𝒃𝒙𝒃•

19 ~ truth untold

AN: It's been a while, whoopsie. Inspiration ran dry. I don't know when my next update will be as it depends on my willingness to write. 

At night, he dreamt of him. Filled with his usual, nonstop kindness, his father would radiate gentleness in the same way he always did. His hands would tug Guren closer, the rough edges of his fingers drawing soft lines across his cheeks, and he'd smile, just as he always did, even when Guren pushed him away.

He always pushed him away, didn't he?

Yet the man's expression wouldn't break, wouldn't falter, no matter how many times it happened, no matter how many times it would repeat. Like an unbreakable wheel that kept on spinning. That was what his father was, wasn't he? An unbreakable wheel. That was what Guren thought of him as. That was what everyone thought of him as.

But in the end, wheels were made of wood, and wood was bound to burn.

And watching the untouchable wheel burst into flames right before his eyes, watching it morph into something else, witness the weakness that he never thought he'd see in him of all people...made everything else feel like a lie. To believe so much into something, to see it as something so...magnificent, to want it to last forever, only to see it crumble.

In the end, why would he believe in anything else?
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Inevitably, at the end of each dream, he'd find himself staring up at the ceiling with one of his hands reaching forward, reaching out to something...someone. Those types of dreams were ones he hated most, for one sole reason; It made him feel...some type of way. There was no itch under his skin, no inescapable heat, nothing. There was only...a light tug at his chest, like a light squeeze, perhaps even a gentle caress. It would make his body tense, make his nerves...jittery.

Just like every time it happened, he'd look to the side and be greeted by the still-quiet night, with dawn threatening to rise over the horizon. These dreams were more like nightmares than anything else, ones that left him feeling anxious and...unwilling to go back to sleep.

Breathing out, he rose to his feet and made his way outside. Everything was quiet. Not a bird or a critter making a single sound, as if the entire world was asleep. Perhaps it was. Perhaps he was one of the mad bunch who roamed through the night. That...sounded about right, didn't it? He was mad. His chest expanded as he took in air, which promptly hitched at his throat and sent him into a quiet coughing spree. Well...as quiet as a cough could be, which wasn't much.

"Bad dream?"

Through the ringing in his ears, Guren couldn't quite make out who spoke. Only once he could properly breathe did he answer, "Nothing out of the ordinary."

Gently, a hand slid over his shoulder, and that mere motion sent an unpleasant shiver down his spine.

"Sleep some more, it's too early."

Once they spoke again, Guren realised who they were. He felt his fingers curl around his shoulder, felt the light tug, and he turned around, only to see- The hand on his shoulder slid down as a dull thud resounded, freezing him still. He stared at a single spot, not daring to look away, not daring to look...down.

But he did, in the end.

His golden eyes had never looked so dull.

_

Zuko was startled into consciousness. Through sleep blurred eyes, he looked around, trying to find what woke him up. For a moment, he caught sight of a silhouette, before it disappeared through the door. One glance towards the still-snoring Iroh told him all that he needed to know. Within a few seconds, he followed after Guren.
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He found him hunched over the side of the cliff, the sounds of dry-heaving heavily filling the night-time quiet. Zuko approached him, slowly, keeping in mind their last encounter. As he got closer, he saw the way Guren's shoulders shook, saw the way his fingers dug into the ground, and he heard him, he could swear he heard him, cry...