MY SAFE HAVEN | billie eilish.

trust

contrary to what many people think, getting blackout drunk does not necessarily mean you've passed out or are unconscious, a perfect way to describe what it means is the way i feel right now. shitty and confused beyond words. i vaguely remember having a conversation with billie about how she's all mine or something like that, and making out with her and of course her skilled fingers buried deep inside of me. hopefully she’ll let me return the favor real soon. but anyway, now if you were to ask me to give you a detailed description of my entire night, i honestly wouldn't know what to say.

i hope i didn't do or say anything stupid.

i hear the sound of water running coming from the bathroom and when i get up to go inspect, i peek through the door crack and see billie's clothes on the floor except for her hoodie which is all i'm wearing over my dress right now. i decide to let her enjoy her morning shower and since my head feels like someone's hitting it with a sledgehammer while simultaneously running me over with a truck, i head downstairs hoping to find something to relieve all this discomfort.

"look who it is" paul who's sitting eating breakfast with poppy teases me as i walk into the kitchen. poppy sends me a look and i just hold my hand up to stop her from anything she's about to say. "please don't" i say kinda grumpily but still give paul a hug and wish him a happy birthday.

"where's billie?" poppy asks while getting up to bring an extra cup and a plate to the table so i can have a much needed breakfast. i'm starving.

"she's taking a shower right now" i tell her, pouring some orange juice into my cup and taking a sip. i watch poppy and paul exchange some glances with each other and i just roll my eyes, focusing on my food.

"someone vomited in the elevator. it was disgusting" paul shares that piece of unnecessary information with me out of the blue and i send him a glare that then turns to embarrassment, making me hide my face in the sweater paws. billie and her baggy clothes istg...

"shut up! oh my god, was that me? did i-"

they both laugh and shake their heads and i sigh in relief going back to eating my food.

"that's not all that happened in the elevator tho" poppy wiggles her brows at me with a certain look on her face while paul nods his head.

"you guys are being weird right now. what else happened?" i ask them, eating a few grapes i put on my plate and both of them are quiet for a good min as they look at something on poppy's phone.

"i mean.. i knew you and billie were close but i didn't know you two were this close" she snickers, and turns her phone to show me the footage that's shown on the screen. it's billie having her hands on my ass and us visibly pecking each others faces and lips. last time i was here there were no security cameras in the elevator.

"ok.. so what? i don’t know what you want me to tell you" i get a little defensive because as much as i adore them and know they're good humans, they could still have something negative to say about this.

"wait so.. you two.. are.. you know?" poppy questions catiously, unsure of what my answer is going to be but i can tell she and paul are dying to know.

"dating?" i snort for some reason and shake my head, popping another grape in my mouth. poppy's expression turns into a frown and i decide to elaborate to see what happens next. "but i don't know.. it's a little complicated. it's like we're together but at the same time we're not. we say we're nothing but act like we're everything, i don't know" i sigh, realizing this is the first time i ever tell anyone about my 'relationship' with billie.

"oh my god! i don't care, in my eyes you guys are now a couple. best decision you've ever made syd, men suck" she says that jokingly just to get a reaction out of paul and we all laugh when he appears to look offended. men do suck tho. no lies detected.