MY SAFE HAVEN | billie eilish.

the beginning of the end

it's supposed to be my wednesday with billie, but she never showed up to work this morning. she wasn't even home when i woke up which is unusual. this whole time i've felt tempted to text her just to see if she's ok but i'm still pretty mad and upset about what happened over the weekend. that's pretty much the reason why i've been avoiding her as much as possible, limiting my responses when she tries having a conversation with me and things like that. childish behavior, i know. i also know i say i don't care a lot. but truth is, i do. i care so much which is why i hate being in such an uncomfortable position with someone i clearly have feelings for.

yeah, there, i said it. i have feelings for billie. wow. shocker. but yeah, i like her. i mean, i'm not in love with her, but god, do i like her a lot. i don't think she feels the same though, maybe she's like super attracted to me but i don't know. i doubt she likes likes me the same way.

"our break is in 15 minutes" klaire, one of the twins, reminds me as i pour some coffee into this man's mug and i nod her way. since billie is basically MIA, i've had to work yet another shift with a twin today.

its only midday and there's barely anybody here, just a couple families chatting, and some individuals reading the newspaper or doing work on their computers. it was pretty chill but the lack of things to do would only make me think of billie again and again and again.

looking for a distraction from my thoughts in the 15 mins i have left before my break i take out the trash, make sure the shelves are dust free, clean up the counters and tables and lastly serve this kid and his mom a warm slice of apple crumble which looks nasty tbh. i love donna but her apple crumble is just a no-no from me. sorry.

it's finally break time and i'm standing in a rather shady area right outside the diner, just eating one of the funfetti sugar cookies donna made. i turn my head once i hear footsteps behind me and the both of us smile when we make eye contact.

"is that your lunch?" mark points at the cookie in my hand and i nod with a chuckle, eating what's left of it.

"you know.. i was gonna ask the other day but uh.." i can see a tint of red in his cheeks as he looks down at his feet. hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans.  i look up at him and send him a little grin. he's so tall. my 5'4 self looks like fire hydrant next to him, i swear.

"i was wondering if you'd like to.. come over one of these days and let me cook something for you.. i don't know" he scratches the back of his head and licks his lips. he's not the only one that's nervous now. mike is basically like a brother to me but i'd be lying if i said he's not charming and one fine specimen of a man. part of me wants to say yes but this little voice in my head keeps telling me to not betray billie like that. i have to laugh because how is that betrayal when she's the one doing god knows what with scarlett and missing her ex oh so much while swearing she's aLL miNe. 🙄

i begin to nod my head when i hear my name being called out from somewhere in the parking lot.

"paul?" i squint my eyes trying to make out the person's face as they're running up to me. it is indeed paul.

"hi, what happened what are you-" he places his hands on my shoulders and cuts me off "there's a fire in your block. it's not looking good syd, you need to come with me" i look at him wide eyed and though that's never happened before in the years i've lived here, i decide i'm not gonna risk it.

mark looks just as concerned and before i even get the chance to ask him if its ok for me to leave he's already going back inside the diner to bring me my backpack.

"thank you so much. this is.. so crazy" i tell mark, and he only asks me to text him if i need anything. how sweet...

paul then basically drags me to his car and we both get in at the same time.