7 Ways To Love You

Chapter 12

Seven's pov-

She brought me to her little spot, I know it's stupid but I can't help but feel a little special. Even though this was technically my special space first. There isn't anyone else I'd rather share it with. We were just floating in the water, in complete and utter silence. Silence, oh how I detest silence. It's taunting me, waiting for me to fill it.

" My mom left when I was twelve. She wanted to leave for years but my dad begged her to stay. She did for a few years but then she couldn't take it any longer and left. I haven't seen or talked to her since the day she left." I blurted out. I don't know why I just did that but it feels so good. I haven't talked about my mom out loud in- well ever.

I've never confided in anyone, not even my dad. He knows I miss her but he also knows I'd never admit it out loud. " Do you miss her?" she asked.

Part of me wanted to lie and say no. To say, to hell with the bitch, she left me. She decided I wasn't good enough and she left. But the other part of me wanted to admit that I did miss her. To admit I wish I had been enough for her to want to stay. To admit that I want her to come back and be my mom. To be the woman who rubbed my back when I had bad dreams. The woman who would hum me to sleep. The woman who taught me how to draw. The woman who loved me.

" More than anything." I admitted. I was more than surprised when she laced her fingers with mine for the second time tonight. She gave my hand a tight squeeze. I can tell Reese isn't really one for physical contact but I appreciated the comfort she was providing. It was a kind gesture, which was slightly unlike her but still much appreciated.

" I'm sorry about your mom. But I'm sure she loves you very much. Sometimes people just can't take it, they need to escape." she said. Even if she needed to escape she could've come to visit. She could've written to me, or texted or called or something. But instead she completely cut me out of her life.

" She could've kept in contact." I muttered, feeling uncomfortably vulnerable. It was an uncomfortable topic for me but I trust Reese. I don't like her all that much, but I trust her. Not once has she made me feel bad or uncomfortable about being myself. She also hasn't judged me about my mom. She listens to me, I like it.

She sighed quietly, " You're right, she could've. But I can understand why she didn't. If I left my family I'd be scared they hate me, I'd be scared to contact them. Because then, then the resentment becomes real and I'd be forced to face the reality of my actions. Fear is a powerful thing, it can prevent you from doing the right thing." she told me, her voice was quiet.

Maybe she's right. I'd be scared of my children hating me for tearing apart the family. But my mom should know I could never hate her. She was always my rock growing up. Am I mad at her? Yes. But do I hate her? No. Do I want to hate her? Yes. But I can't. She's my mom, the woman who gave me life.

" What about you? What're your parents like?" I asked. I can tell she probably doesn't have the best relationship with her parents. I can't really blame her, by the sound of it her parents are very strict.

" They're dead." she said, with her usual toneless voice. It's scary how she's able to talk about something like that and seem so unaffected.

" I'm so sorry, I can't imagine losing both of my parents." I said truthfully. I already lost my mom, I can't imagine losing my dad too. " When did it happen?" I asked.

" A few months ago." she answered. Jesus, no wonder she's suicidal. It's only been a few months since she lost her parents. " Wait, you're only seventeen. Who assumed guardianship?" I asked. Please tell me she's been left in the custody of a nice, loving relative.

" The state. That's why I'm here. It was either here or a group home." she answered. Doesn't she have any other family? Or a close family friend, just someone to take custody of her. I can't imagine how awful it must be to lose both of your parents and then be ripped away from your home and thrown into a random household. To have your whole life turned upside down in a matter of days, it's traumatizing.