Shoot me (Gahyeon)

Eleven

"It would be nice if we take a vacation just us five"

Your mother smiles lovingly at you and your sisters while your father nods his head smiling at your mother.

You were all happily eating at the dining table. Dinner was made by your mother and you loved every piece of food you could shove in your mouth.

"Where do you want to go hon?"

Sua fake pukes hearing the pet name which made Jiu shove Sua while Yoohyeon tries her best not to laugh at the latter.

"Hmm where does everyone want to go?"

Your sisters start to give names of different countries and cities except you who was just eating there.

"Okay okay calm down, what about you Y/N?"

Your mother smiles at you in contrast to your father who was looking at you worriedly. Knowing damn well about the countries your father was sworn enemies with.

"I want to stay in Korea"

It was the time you were making sacrifices, slowly but surely your feelings weren't considered as you get empty praises from your father and by the end, you went from cheerful to empty, always considering your father and not your own.

"Y/N come on hang out with us, it's been years"

Yoohyeon tried to persuade you while you were shooting a handgun in the practice range.

"I don't want to go, Yoohyeon. You can go hang out with Jiu and Sua. I'm busy"

You tried shooting again when Yoohyeon tried to pull your arm making you accidentally shoot her in the shoulder causing the latter to scream on the top of her lungs and everyone including your father runs towards the both of you wondering what happened.

In a panicked state you started rambling apologies, body trembling when you felt your father's hands grip on your collar while your mother called for an ambulance.

"D-dad it was an ac-"

Your father hits you with a hard fist... One turns into two and soon it ends with you in the hospital as well.

"I'm okay mother, I deserve it"

You couldn't help but shed a tear as you see your mother weakly smiling trying her best to stay strong for you.

"No shh your father was just out of control, I told him he will apologize once you're fully recovered. Just focus on getting better for now, okay?"

You didn't know that after that incident everything in your happy family would change.

"I TOLD YOU THAT I DON'T WANT MY KIDS TO BE EXPOSED TO WHAT YOU DO, LEAVE THEM ALONE THEY ARE STILL IN SCHOOL LEARNING HOW TO BE SOMEONE WITH MORALS AND VALUES UNLIKE YOU, YOU'RE A MONSTER"

You heard your mother scream as you woke up from a deep slumber.

"You bitch"

Things were breaking left right and center in the living room when you tried going back to sleep you felt trembling hands on your arm which made you flinch.

When you look at who it was, it was just your sisters. You can see the fear in their eyes despite that you managed to fit in your bed draping a blanket over everyone.

Even though it's a little crowded you would do everything just for them to be safe.

"Go to sleep, don't worry he won't come here. I promise everyone is safe"

You smiled genuinely despite the pounding of your heart and the butterflies in your stomach that tells that you were nervous.

You stayed up all night hearing your parents fight while occasionally looking if your sister woke up from the loud sound.

"YOU MADE ME INTO THIS, A MONSTER I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I MARRIED YOU, YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND THAT FUCKING Y/N ARE ALL STUCK UP TWO FACE BASTARDS"

You heard footsteps approaching as you opened the door immediately locking it from behind so that he couldn't get in.

"They are asleep"

You calmly say while your father shoves you harshly trying to open the door.

You could smell the alcohol from a mile away as you see your mother on the floor passed out.

"You think you can shoot your sister freely huh?"

Your father grabs you by the neck making you gasp for air as you try to struggle.

"You're just a useless kid, no one wants you in this family. A huge disgrace to the Kim family"

And every time this happens, your sister always wakes up as if nothing happened.

You cooked breakfast, cared for your mother while your father was away. It was an everyday thing until that one day.

Your father hasn't been back home for over a month already and it started to worry your mother but instead of showing it, she smiles widely looking like she is having a great life.

While you and your sisters watched the news after dinner, you then heard the news.

The infamous Mr. Kim has been found dead on an alleyway near Seoul just 4 blocks away from his largest company. The police have said it was suicide base on the suicide letter.

It then showed the picture of a suicide note.

I can't handle my wife anymore; she's been cheating on me and I can't bare this pain any longer. I did everything yet it wasn't enough so many questions yet it remains unanswered. I loved you.

Without any hesitation you turn the television off making your sisters complain except Jiu.

Jiu knew exactly what was happening and because of that she escorted Sua and Yoohyeon to their room while you went to the kitchen to see your mother trembling.

"M-mother"

The older woman looks at you smiling with tears escaping her eyes.

"Give me a moment Y/N, mother is just going to finish the dishes and take a shower then we'll talk, okay?"

You had a bad feeling but still you nodded. You trusted your mother more than anything in the world.

At the time you didn't know that it was going to be the biggest regret, you didn't know your mother would give up on life and the guilt that you still hold onto until this day. It was all unexpected because if you knew, you wouldn't have let your mother out of your sight.

If I just hung out with my sisters like a normal kid. Things would have been so different

You buried the past deep within you because whenever you think of it. You feel like a total monster, it wasn't your father who destroyed the family.

You strongly believe it was your fault.