NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY: RDR2

38. NATURE WITHIN

"Nature within her inmost self divides

To trouble men with having to take sides."

—Robert Frost 

Dutch was furious.

He marched over from his tent, Micah trotting along behind him like a faithful dog, both of them sporting outraged expressions. I dismounted from Aine, who took her cue and headed straight to Kieran. 

"John!" Dutch called, the usual cracks in his voice amplified with volume. "What are you doin' here?"

"It's good to see you too, partner." John hissed, walking to meet Dutch halfway. Abigail clung to his side still, not ready to turn her attention to anything else.

I glanced at Arthur, who's eyes were focused intently on the scene before him. Sadie was the only one who seemed relaxed, walking straight to the chuckwagon and grabbing herself a beer.

"I meant I hadn't sent for you yet." Dutch said, scolding.

"I went." Arthur chimed in, stepping forward to stand between them. My jaw clenched as I noticed Dutch shift his eyes to him, his fury redirected.

"But I said that-"

"Yeah, I know what you said." Arthur cut in, the righteous anger in Dutch's face paling in comparison to the disappointment in Arthur's own. "I felt different."

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

"And when springin' John brings the law down on all of us...what then, Arthur?" Dutch snarled, leaning his face towards Arthur's. I guess he expected him to back down, to apologise, to promise never to go against his word again. But I knew Arthur had passed that point, he'd passed it in Guarma and seemed only to be straying further from it with each passing day.

I wanted to laugh, to tell Dutch that he was a fool not to see how he had brought this upon himself. I wanted to cut the ties that bound them all and set them free, free to run and find new lives. But I didn't. Instead, I kept back, watching with bated breath as Arthur steeled himself.

"Well, I guess we'll have another fight on our hands." He replied, with firm conviction.

"Loyalty," Dutch said, almost a whisper. "Arthur, it ain't... I had a god damn plan! John, you are my brother. You are my son. I was coming for you-"

"They was talkin' of hangin' me Dutch!" John said, the pain ringing clear in his voice. Abigail heard it too, stepping forward to give them a piece of her mind, but John held out his arm to stop her.

"They was talking. They was talking." Dutch replied, walking back towards his tent. Micah followed, of course, throwing a dismayed look at all of us as he did. "Now they may come and hang us all."

I couldn't help but notice how his eyes landed on me last, filled with a menacing understanding, before he turned on his heel and ducked into his tent. I narrowed my eyes at him as he went, trying to understand what it was about me that had offended him so. Perhaps he linked my presence with Arthur's change of heart, despite anyone with a brain seeing that if anyone's convictions had changed, it certainly wasn't Arthur's.

Abigail pulled John away to their shared tent, wanting away from the prying eyes of the camp, wanting only to soothe and reconnect with her companion. I hurried over to where Arthur stood, despondent and despairing, and grabbed a firm hold of his hand.

"That was..." I start, suddenly at a loss for words.

"I know." He said, giving my hand a squeeze. "You should get outta here, it ain't such a welcome place no more."