Scars [An Exclamation Point Fan Fiction]

PART 19

After my shower I throw on a pair of knee length leggings and Paul's Ravens jacket. I walk out of the bathroom, braiding back my damp hair. Paul's sitting on the bed looking for a movie. He turns when he hears me walk out.

"So that's where that jacket went." He says smiling at me.

I blush and bite my lip. "Yea, I stole it from you a couple weeks ago." I tie the ponytail around my braid. "I can give it back to you, if you want." I say walking towards him. He swings his legs off the side of the bed, and grabs my hips pulling me closer to him. I put my hands around his neck and play with his hair.

"No it's looks better on you anyway." He says looking up and down my body.

I blush and lean my head towards his. Paul moves his hands to wrapped around my lower back. I turn my head towards the tv. "Did you find a movie?"

"I found two. A Walk To Remember and The Lucky One. Which one do you want to watch?"

"Both." I say smiling at him. Paul smiles back at me and pulls me across him so we're laying on the bed. He turns on The Lucky One. We lay together watching it, when the sex scene comes on Paul looks at me.

"Can I ask you something personal?" He asks playing with one of my hands.

"Yeah. What is it?" I ask sitting up.

"Well I was just wondering if you were, you know, a-Uhm- a virgin?" He asks nervously.

I stare at him for a few seconds, then look down and slowly shake my head. I feel him stiffen on the bed. I look back up with tears in my eyes. "But I didn't want to do it." I whisper.

***FLASHBACK***

Nate and I have been together for nine months now. Today is the Fourth of July, and he wants to take me out on a special date. I put on my blue and white stripped sun dress over my bathing suit and walk out to Nate's car. The sun is barely starting to set when we get to a small lake, a couple hours outside of town. Nate gets out, and open my door for me. Always the gentleman. I think to myself. We walk towards the lake and I see a picnic blanket with candles, Nate's guitar, and our favorite foods. I can't contain the smile growing wider on my face.

"Do you like it?" He whispers into my ear, as he wraps his arms around my waist.

I turn around and put my arms around his neck. "I love it Nate." I whisper back.

Nate lets go of me and takes on of my hands leading me to the blanket. He puts our bags down and takes off his shirt, showing off his sculpted body. "Let's go for a swim first." He says lifting my dress up a little. I pull off my dress and follow Nate into the water. Nate wraps his arms around me and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around him and put my arms on his neck. He leans in and kisses me softly. We stay in the water for a few minutes before Nate carries me back to the blanket. He lays me on my back, and starts kissing me again. I push him away. "Play me something." I whisper. Nate sits up and grabs his guitar. He starts singing As Long As You Love Me by Justin Bieber. He finishes the songs and lays me back down. He leans over me, starting to kiss me. He kisses my lips, and along my jawline. He slowly moves to my neck, and starts moving down to my chest. I grab his hair and pull him up. "Not yet." I whisper. "I'm not ready." He softly kisses my lips, and whispers "I'll be gentle." before moving back to my chest. He starts kissing me on my chest, moving down to my stomach. I back away. "Nate please." I whisper. He ignores me and pulls me back to him. He kisses my stomach back up to my chest. I try to wiggle out of his grasp but he won't let go. He lifts his face to kiss my lips, but I slap him across the cheek. "Stop it." I say more forcefully. He sits up and rubs his red cheek. "I'm sorry." I whisper. He looks me in the eyes. His bright blue eyes, go dark. He takes his hand and slaps me back across the face. I hold back the tears, as he grabs my neck with one hand, and my hip with another. "We're doing it." He says harshly. I shake my head, and he slaps me again. Everytime I say no he slaps me somewhere new. I give in. "Fine!" I say. "I'll do it." Nate lays me down and kisses me hard, moving his lips across my body. He gets past my belly button, and his hands pull down my bathing suit bottom. He starts kissing me, and before I know it he forces himelf inside me. I cry out, as he pushes himself farther into me. Tears fall down my cheeks, the pain getting worse. Nate finishes and softly kisses my lips. He puts my bottoms back on me, and I roll over facing away from him, and cry.

*FLASHBACK OVER*

I finish telling Paul the story, tears streaming down my face. "I've never told anyone. That story." I whisper. "He continued to hit me after that." I sniff. "I thought- I thought if I gave him what he wanted he'd stop." I sob. "But he didn't. He didn't stop." Paul puts his arms around me and soothes me as I sob into his chest. I pull away from Paul and stare into his eyes.

"What's wrong with me?" I whisper.

Paul wipes tears from my cheeks. "Nothing's wrong with you Nikki. You believed he loved you. You thought your love could fix everything." He puts his hands on my cheeks. "There is nothing wrong with you." He whispers, before softly kissing my lips. He pulls away and I smile at him.

"What?" He says smiling back at me.

"You're probably getting sick of all of my crying, right?"

"Nah, I like being able to make it better after you cry." He says playing with the end of my braid.

I lay my head on his chest and smile.