Mi amor ~ Camilo Madrigal x oc~

8

I got out more and more each day trying to keep as far away from my own home and the Madrigal's. It was like my own personal torment that I put upon my self. Every time I lay in bed I feel weak like I'm allowing the curse to get to my mind.  It's not much better when I pass the Madrigal's home a feeling of worry turns my stomach. If Señora Julieta where to have seen me what would she say. What would she do if she saw my eyes that night. It was a doing I had done to my self. 

Every time I passed Camilo in the streets I couldn't look at him. When he spoke to me I walked faster and faster trying to get away. When I did meet his gaze his eyes only looked of worry. Did he already know? I didn't expect Señora Julieta to keep it a secret if she did know. But still I hoped she would have. Now I walk through the people covered street trying to hold my head up. Waving to everyone who passes and throwing smiles in the directions of the children. I didn't know where I was going but I knew what I was avoiding.

I felt a tug on my skirt that puled my attention away from the ground. I looked down at Antonio. "Hello." He messed with his hands before looking at me, "I was just...well I didn't know if Ana and Maria could come and play." I couldn't help but smile at him. Birds followed him as he walked standing on his shoulders and on top of his head. I nodded leading us back towards the house, "Of course, we can go ask?" And we did ask. The girls accepted without hesitation. 

The three kids broke off running the birds racing to keep up. He didn't know. The look in his eyes and the way he had that same warm loving smile. He had no idea what has happened on the night of his gifting. A small sense of hope grew in the pit of my stomach. Looking over I saw him the boy who I had spent days running from. He didn't look angry or afraid just worried. Turning away I walked faster and faster to try and get away from him. Away from his look. And far away from his worry. 

I could feel his eyes on the back of my neck. I turned down an ally in between two flower covered homes. I went far enough to where you couldn't see my from the street leaning against a wall. The small bit that was exposed on my lower back fell numb to the cold of the wall. I prayed to everything I could think of just for him to walk past me. I closed my eyes tightly muttering, "Por favor, Dios, que siga moviéndose. No dejes que me vea. (Please God keep moving. Don't let him see me.)" 

His soft voice bounced off the walls, "Valentina..." I kept my eyes tightly closed muttering prayers under my breath. His voice got closer and closer, "Valentina what are you doing?" I couldn't tell him to go away. I didn't have a just cause that I could tell him. Slowly I opened my eyes to see Camilo standing right in front of me, "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry." No matter how hard I tried it was no use. I pushed him away because I could. Because I felt like I had to protect him from something I wasn't sure what it was. If it lived inside of me waiting to tear everything I loved apart. If I would end up like Papi leaving my entire family behind because I was afraid. 

He looked at me confused his hair falling into his face, "Why are you sorry? Val you don't have anything to be sorry about." I found my self without even trying falling into him. My arms rapping around his waist. Pressing my face into his chest I gave in. Tears streaming down my face staining his shirt. I had been so alone in my own head not even realizing that when trying to protect everyone I was only making it all worse. The curse was pulling into my mind forcing me away from everyone I loved. And showing me into the arms of the person I mindlessly hated. No matter how much I hated him he was the first person I could confide in without even having to say a word. 

His arms rapped around me as he whispered in my ear, "Está bien, no has hecho nada malo. (Okay, you haven't done anything wrong.)" If only he knew that below my skin and deep inside of my soul lay a monster. A crime that my own birth committed. I wished I hadn't done anything wrong. I wished that I wasn't wrong just for being.  Everything seemed to go wrong and I couldn't even tell anyone. I wanted to but I couldn't. Even now in my weakest points crying into the person I hates arms I found my self not afraid or sorry. But just at peace like I could finally let go even just for a short period of time.