Mi amor ~ Camilo Madrigal x oc~

11

We all stood in the forest that surrounded the Encanto. The think jungle providing shade over our heads. The people of Encanto buried their dead far out of sight. Hidden from the eye of the residence. Almost as if they wanted to forget that with beauty also came death. The pain of having to see their loved ones. It was typical to celebrate the dead as they once where but for a perfect village death seemed like a stain.

As the town was beautiful so was the grave yard. Flowers, some natural and many dead, lay arose tomb stones and all around. Death in such a place was beautiful. Slowly we walked carefully to the head stone near the back. Vines grown all along it coupled with dark flowers. Abuela and Mami both had roses in their hands.

My younger sisters where dancing with every step trying to keep from getting in trouble. Although they where normally all over the place and to be frank loud. Today they seemed quiet like to try their best to be "good children." The kind a mother would get a pat on the back by about her for having. The kid that parents compare their children too.

Sofia didn't speak to anyone, keeping her head low, muttering prayers under her breath. She hated today, it was the same every year for the past five years. Place down the flowers listen to Mami and Abuela talk about the things Papi would have loved to be here. All of it was really just bull shit. Papi wasn't dead he was gone. He left us behind in a place we made our selves be unaccepted just like the last.

Like Sofia I hated today I just didn't show it. We reached Papi's grave. And the routine started. The flowers placed on the dirt that had never been up turned. Abuela whispered prayers as Mami talked about how "great" Papi was. It made my stomach turn. Then the force of nature that was beneath my skin started to peak through. 

Slowly my ear started to ring like church bells at first. Later turning into a violent warning. I held my composure the only sound I could hear that of the violent bell. I watched as Mami's lips moved but I couldn't hear a word she said. I watched the look of worry grow on her face as she looked at me. I winced as it grew a little at a time. I ran my hands down my face holding onto the shred of what I have left. Mami grabbed my shoulder I watched as she muttered something. It looked like she had said, another headache? Nodding quickly I tried to bring my self back. And then it completely stopped for a few seconds I felt like I was in pure bliss. Until I heard Sofia's screams. 

Turning I looked over at her, tears streaming down her face. Her finger intertwined with her hair as she yelled. Mami ran over to her while Abuela kept her eyes on me. I could see her out of the corner of my eye. The way her fingers slowly gripped onto the cross around her neck, the way her lips parted as she muttered prayers under her breath, for the first time I felt like my father and it made my stomach turn in ways I would have never thought possible. She was meant to be my support system the person who watched my father struggle from my age. Yet the look in her eyes was of fear. 

The thing she had never wanted me to become was happening. And to her all over again. I felt bad that I wasn't able to prove her wrong and be someone my father couldn't. I watched as Mami tried to comfort her. My younger sisters looked confused before looking at me. A look that resembled a more animated version of Abuela's fear. They hid behind Mami looking at me parodically. I caught my reflection in a puddle my eyes had gone completely white. Just as they had the night of Antonio's gifting. I looked down at my hands what seemed to be a translucent wave moved around them only visible when caught in the right lighting.  

I looked at Sofia as she fell to the ground onto her knees. There no fear in Mami's eyes rather pain knowing that she would have to watch her child go through the same thing as her husband had. At least I hope that's what it was. And not the pain of watching her family be destroyed from the inside out. I stepped back slowly trying to get back far enough to where they couldn't see me any longer. Tears rolled down my cheeks as is tarted to frantically apologize, "I-I didn't mean to...Sofia I'm so sorry." Mami shushed me as she spoke up her voice monotoned, "You can't control it dear, it's not you it's the curse. You will learn to control it...it'll take some time but you will get used to it." I didn't want to get used to it. I didn't want it to be happening. No matter how understanding Mami seemed I found my self suddenly feeling like an outsider, maybe I had always been an outsider and this was just my way of seeing it.