wasteland, baby! [fushiguro megumi]

16: arcane

august 2018

tokyo prefectural jujutsu high school

third person pov

the ripples in the pond brought tranquility along with the soft croaks of frogs by the lily pads as keiko basked in the rare moonlight with her eyes shut and her legs halfway submerged in the water. the insomniac girl wanted to take a moment of solidarity to clear her mind and simply let herself be.

i'm getting stronger, and it's like there's another being growing inside me. i don't know if i can suppress it for much longer. even my techniques are altering, i might soon just manifest into a full blown cursed spirit. i need help, what would you do if you were me seraphina? i miss you.

keiko exhaled heavily as she began to whisper the words to a certain kings of leon song, letting her mind wander to memories of her time with her late mentor.

this used to be your favourite song right? are you listening right now?

the girl was interrupted once again when a familiar aura entered her radar, leaving her to sigh as she picked up a pebble and attempted to skip it across the pond.

"what is it now, satoru?"

though it was two in the morning, gojo satoru, still as cheery as ever, plopped himself by the redhead and ruffled her hair.

"i heard about what happened with todo the other day, are you alright?" even under the smile, keiko could sense his genuine worry with his strong aura hovering around her.

"do you think i'm not doing my best?"

"what do you mean? i know you always put your best foot forward when it comes to fights." gojo cocked his head.

"todo said that i was limiting my cursed energy, that i wasn't using the full extent of my strength. but how is that possible if i'm always on the brink of using up my cursed energy?"

"why do you want to be a jujutsu sorcerer, koko?"

"huh? i've already answered that before, why are you asking again now?"

"that was before you found out what happened, now that you know the whole story, why do you put your life on the line in this kind of work?"

keiko found no meaning in her existence, in fact she detested it. the scrutiny of the jujutsu world wasn't making things better in her favour either. to be a jujutsu sorcerer you have to be selfish, to not allow the deaths of people that you failed to save get under your skin and to keep moving forward.

at the start it was easy for keiko to set aside the purpose of her training and her emotions. she trained to be stronger, so she could help people who deserved it. that was her reasoning. keiko didn't delve too much into the depths of it all, with a soul as pure as hers, she just wanted to do good. she was naive, believing that as long as she could train to be as strong as someone like gojo satoru, she could cleanse the world of its sins.

but as of right now, all she wanted to do is to cleanse herself of her own sins. she believed it was foolish to convince herself that it wasn't her fault, that it was just an unfortunate destiny imposed on her since she was born. there was a reason why her mother wanted to alter the girl's memories back then; no child should ever grow up bearing the weight of such heavy sins. and keiko understood that as clear as day, yet she treads on the world as if it's a minefield, for she was the timebomb to set it all off, the weight of her guilt stronger than gravity itself.

to atone for her sins, now all keiko wanted to do was to prevent and protect; to prevent further meaningless deaths from the palm of her hands, and to protect the ones close to her. although she could say that she's seen the world, because she really did, what she perceived of it was only a mere fraction. losing seraphina, finding out what happened with her clan eleven years ago, it made keiko cynical. so much life and light in the world, and for what? she could only see it as a desolate prison for her to spend the rest of her days in.