Mrs. Aird (Belivaird) (Book 2)

Chapter 4: The journal

I woke up to a light shining in my eyes, and when I finally opened them, I noticed that it was the sun peeking through the curtains. I stretched and noticed that the bed was empty. I sat up and looked around and my eyes landed on the clock next to the bed.

8:15

I slept in? How the hell did I do that? Carol must have gotten up without waking me up. I'm usually the one to wake up first, but since last night kind of went on for a while, I guess I was exhausted.

I got up and got dressed. It's Tuesday, so I have work today, but I don't have to be there until one. I work until five. I couldn't ask for better hours, although sometimes they put me in more hours, but I'm not complaining because I love my job.

As I was walking out of the bedroom, I was stopped. I slowly backed up and walked back into the bedroom. I started looking around. I looked under the bed, in the closet, everywhere.

I stopped next to Carol's bedside table and sat on the bed as I opened the drawer. Sure enough, her journal was laying on top in plain view. I picked it up and took a deep breath.

Am I really going to do this? I mean, Harge might have been joking about whatever was in here, but then again.

I opened it to the first page that it was on and scanned through it. There wasn't anything about me on this page, so I flipped through a couple of pages until I landed on one with my name.

I felt my heart start racing as I started reading.

Maybe I'm crazy, or maybe I'm not. All I know is that I can't stop thinking about her. It sickens me to the very least about every thought that runs through my mind when it comes to her. Although the thoughts are appropriate, they still haunt me every now and then.

I stopped reading and took another deep breath. I looked back down on the page and decided to continue.

I can't stop these feelings. They're there, and they won't leave. But, I don't want them to leave. Even though this is wrong, I can't help but think about her. She's different.

I stopped reading. What am I reading? Is this really how she felt about me?

Harge will never understand. He never does. He nevers gives me what I want anymore, that's why I fell out of love with him. He doesn't fulfil my needs. He's constantly out and doing whatever the hell he wants, while I'm here at home thinking about my student in ways that I can't put into words.

Therese Lynn Belivet. Do you know how much I adore you?

I shut the journal and sat there. I couldn't wrap my head around this and my heart was about to burst out of my chest.

She adored me back then. She fucking adored me just like I adored her. How fucking crazy is that? Thinking back to when I kept my feelings from her, she had feelings for me longer than I could think possible.

I turned a few pages and came across one and started reading.

I shouldn't do this. I really can't be doing this. I have no right to do this again.

What the hell was she talking about?

I can't be falling for her. She's my student. My student for fuck sake! What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I have to go down this road again?

I stopped and re-read the last few words.

What did she mean by going down that road again?

I flipped to another page.

Why I keep falling for my students, I don't know. It doesn't make any sense, and it makes me a terrible person. I had too many affairs and I don't know why I continue to do this shit.