The Story of a Bird and Spider || Clintasha

11

"I had asked Nat what she would want to be if she were someone else, and she choked up. I was surprised at first, but then I got it. What would I be? Would I be anyone? What if my parents hadn't died, and I was raised in that household for my entire childhood, with Barney?

"It's a scary thought."

"When we were young, Barney once asked me if I believed in Heaven, Hell, and God. My first thought was to retort, bringing the question back to him. We were raised Christian, but with everything that had happened to us, we began to question the existence of any of these things.

"I didn't give him an answer. He didn't give me one. But I know what we were thinking-- we were hoping that if either of us die, we end up with no memory of our life. Our childhood was not to be a subject of jealousy; at the time, we both wanted to forget everything.

"However, seeing Natasha like this, with no memory of who I am... it hurts. It makes me want to fix her mind somehow, with some magic spell. And now, wherever or whatever Barney is, I just hope he remembers his little brother. I would do anything to have him back."

"I've never really thought about it, but I can't remember the last time I've had a dream. I suppose I could have had one or two, but they haven't stuck with me. Recently I haven't really had time to sleep, but this has been a long time.

"I don't even remember what it feels like to have a good dream. Have I ever had one? Did I wake up feeling satisfied and ready for the day, or was I always that way because I had my little bird? And now that Bobbi's gone, how do I wake up now?"

"Natasha has lived more lives than she's even aware of. It's sad to think about. According to Katya, she's been brainwashed multiple times, to extreme measures. It's hard to believe she's managed to stay sane, but I suppose having your memory wiped helps with that.

"It would be interesting to be a victim of that. What if all my life I've believed I was Clint Barton, brother of Barney, and son of Harold and Edith, but really I was born someone else? But I know better. The pain is too real to have just been put into my mind. I just hope Natasha will be able to snap out of it again, like she did when she was under the spell of the USSR."

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27. Hungary: Budapest, Wednesday, August 19, 00:15

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It's late when she returns, and she hands Clint a glass of ice cold water. He takes it, with caution, looking up at her freshly washed face and calm, composed demeanor.

The cuffs had long since been removed, but his wrists are sore from pulling on them so much. He feels like he hasn't slept for days, but he's not even sure anymore. If he could look back into his log, he may remember the date before he was captured. Where his things are right now, he's not entirely sure, but Katya has made no effort to return any of them.

"You didn't kill her."

"No. Not yet. I will, however, if you don't tell me everything." Her voice is smooth and dangerous, a totally new side of her that Clint didn't see initially. To him, Katya is Yekaterina's daughter, and he can see her no other way.

"Shoot, then," he responds, looking expectantly from across the table, his hands wrapped around the glass. Droplets slide down the surface and create a circle on the obsidian black table. Katya's expression is of utter shock, and Clint catches his mistake; "With the questions."

Don't screw around with emotionally unstable people, he notes to himself.

"Ah, yes, of course." She clasps her hands on her lap then immediately feels uncomfortable. She doesn't know what questions to ask, how to ask them, or how he'll respond. It seems as if half her life has really been a lie-- that she's been fussing over the wrong thing for a long time.