Hawwa's Paradise

Chapter-7 #Rewritten

Next Mahir tested Qibriyah for depression and anxiety by inquiry. According to the results, Qibriyah didn't have them.

"What are the issues you need help with?"

"I want to manage my guilt of not visiting an elderly lady because I refused to marry her granddaughter. I refused because I don't want to remarry and she is nineteen years younger than me." Nodding at him, Mahir started to scribble on a notepad with a pen. "But now I want to see if can solve my trust issues about marriage and deal with a marriage with...nineteen years age gap." Discomfort burned Qibriyah's stomach towards the end of his response. Mahir raised his eyebrows during the same time before continuing to scribble down more words. Then he turned to Qibriyah.

"Why are you interested in marrying this woman now?"

"Aunty, that is this woman's grandmother has been a mother figure to me for twenty three years. She now has cancer. She was heartbroken when I rejected her granddaughter. I feel ungrateful even though I know I did nothing wrong in rejecting."

"How did this elderly lady end up becoming your mother figure?"

"Aunty was my neighbour when I was living at my mama's. She and my mami used to visit each other's houses often. That's how she ended up meeting me and my mother when we were living at my mama's. After my mother moved out, aunty started asking to meet me whenever she used to visit mami. She even encouraged mami bring me along with her to Aunty's house. At first mami never took me nor did I tagged along with her. But Aunty kept insisting. She used to be more affectionate than my mama and mami. So one day I finally visited her. She disclosed that day about her childhood. Her mother had died when she was seven years old. Her father wasn't affectionate enough to comfort her for such a loss. It's as if he thought of Aunty more as a responsibility than a daughter he loved. Her dadi who used to live with them took on the role of Aunty's maternal figure. Then her father remarried within the same year. The stepmother used to ignore her as much as possible. Her father didn't protest against this.

"Her grandmother tried to convince Aunty's stepmother a few times to step as Aunty's mother. But as it fell on deaf ears, the grandmother gave up. As the years past by, her father and step-mother had children, two daughter and one son. Aunty used to consider them as her own siblings, but her step-mother misguided them to not think of her as real family as she was their half-sibling. So her siblings treated her differently than how they treated each other. Rather her stepmother used to hit her whenever she saw or heard Aunty trying to convince her half-siblings that she was their real sibling. Thus, Aunty gave up. Her Dadi ended up dying when she was fifteen. This led to her feeling as an outsider in her own house. So, she sympathized with me. I felt validated. I decided right there that I would visit her again.

"One afternoon outside the building I came across Aunty. By then, I had visited Aunty again with Mami. She invited me to her house. I accepted it. It was my first time visiting her house alone. Aunty had asked how my relationship with my mama-mami was. When I told her, she said I was welcomed to visit her whenever I wanted to get rid of the feeling of being an outsider. She knew very well how terrible it was to go through it. When I left, I was feeling better having spoken with her. She also served me snacks. Taking her offer, I increased my visits, with or without Mami. Without realizing, I had started seeing her more of a parent figure than my parents. After all, I was spending more time with her and she was giving me more attention."

"What happened after you left for the Airforce Academy?"

"My visits to her decreased. I could meet her only during my leave and holidays. We also kept contact through landline. I would call her more than I did my own parents. After graduating, my posting was in Jessore for three years. My visitations and call maintained the same routine. Next, I got posted to Dhaka for five years. Luckily, my visits increased. But they weren't as many as when I used to live next door to her. I got married during this period in 2012. Before getting getting I introduced my wife to her before my parents and mama-mami."