Allifer

Chapter 5: back to the bad

I can't stop having flashbacks and all day today I've had a migraine and have vomited three times. Though it has gotten better as of right now. I still feel as if my body is switching between three thousand pounds and being as light as a feather blowing around in a hurricane. I can't get these awful thoughts out of my head so I'm just going to write them instead not that it will make a difference.

I'm going to skip some time because most of it from the age of four to six was just like that first time. By six I had gotten smarter though and said I couldn't sleep without Chance in the room. I thought I would be safe with that. I wasn't. Chance sleeps like a rock. Jared literally thought he was dead at some points in our life but the guy just sleeps that way. Chance wouldn't wake up if the world was ending even. Chance is an energetic guy and I mean energetic. He acts like a kid on a monster energy drink and tons of sugar now so imagine as a kid. So it makes sense with how much energy he uses throughout the day that he would sleep like that. Six year old me didn't get that though.

I had asked Chance to stay up with me just so if our uncle came in I wouldn't be alone. I just told him I had been having nightmares and wanted Chance to protect me. This worked for awhile because when my uncle walked in the first time he huffed and told us to hurry off to sleep. Chance looked at me after he left and said "I don't want to get in trouble he said he'd take away our jello cup. I really really like jello." So he ignored me and went to sleep. My uncle didn't come in for awhile so I decided to sleep as well. Maybe he would leave me alone if I was asleep. I was sorely mistaken.

I woke up being cold. It was winter at the time so I bundled up in my warmest clothes and blankets. So I didn't understand. I was about to open my eyes until I heard his grunt. I suddenly noticed the bed being pressed on either side of me. I assume now he was kneeling over me because I remember another one over my head. I decided to pretend to stay asleep since it didn't feel like he was touching me. But I was for sure naked. Uncle Ben's grunting and groaning went on for a little longer before he let out a moan and I felt a warm liquid hit my stomach. I flinched. I then felt his breath on my ear. "I know your awake. Open your eyes like a good boy." I failed.

I hesitantly opened my eyes and saw Uncle Ben's face inches from mine. His green eyes locked with mine. "Uncle Ben.." I said in a croaky voice. "What's going on..?" I tried to pretend like I didn't wake up a few minutes ago. He just lifted himself to let me look down. I looked down and saw his... well yeah. And my naked body. My stomach was covered in a wet white slimy substance. "Do you know what this is..?" He asked pointing to my stomach. Being six I didn't.

"It's called semen." He said with a smile. I looked over at Chance passed out in his bed upside down like always. I then looked back up at Uncle Ben. "Oh." I said wanting to get back to bed pretending that I was sleepy.

He then touched me and gently rubbed. "Did you know that you can make it too, though yours is still a little different because you are so young." He said with a grin. "Would you like to see how?"

I thought about it and then shook my head no. "I'm tired uncle-" wrong answer. He slapped my face hard. Tears came to my eyes and he shoved his hand over my mouth and nose to hush me from making too much noise. "Let me ask again. Would you like to see how? Remember how I told you to always be curious."

I gave a reluctant and quick nod and he let me breath again. At this point I just did what he told me too cause he would hurt me worse if I didn't. I turned to look at Chance as he touched me. I couldn't control the gasps and moans I let out and that disgusted me because I thought I sounded gross and that this felt gross and I couldn't figure out why. Chance was still sleeping away. He grabbed my face and forced me to look at him squeezing my jaw hard. I released. My body felt tired and I felt disconnected from everything. Like I couldn't feel my finger tips. "Uncle Ben I'm cold." I said without thinking. He gave a small chuckle and then lifted me up. I didn't struggle. "Then I have the perfect idea." He said carrying me to the bathroom. "Let's get you cleaned up." I did feel like a dirty used towel now that I look back on it. "I'm thirsty" I said again not thinking, but hey I was only six.

He set me in the tub and told me to stay there for a second while he grabbed me water. He came back with a bubbly juice. There was a white little pill dissolving on the bottom. I didn't know it was a pill at the time. He handed it to me and told me to drink it all up as he turned on the bath. I did not wanting to get slapped again. I drank it all even the half dissolved pill on the bottom. After a few minutes I felt dizzy. I remember my uncle turning off the bath even though it didn't fill. He did clean off my stomach, I think. It's all fuzzy from here. He carried me somewhere and set me down. It was soft but everything was spinning and my whole body felt warm like a fire was set in my hips.

The room spun as he did things that I can't even remember they were just flashes here and there but I guess it's hard to remember. Him sucking my chest and stomach leaving marks. Him bruising me. Him thrusting. Him thrusting into my mouth. Him flipping me over. Then him cleaning me up and laying me back into my bed, I only knew because I saw Chance. I fell asleep. When I woke up it was the next day and Uncle Ben was gone.