Quiet vs. Loud

Home

After dinner with Mom, Evan and Riker's family, Riker and I took Jayce and Whit home. When we pulled up in the driveway, Jayce jumped out of the car and ran in the house. Whit got out of the car a little slower and stood by the car until Riker and I got out. When I got out, Whit put his arm around me and said "I don't know what I need to say to him. No matter what anyone tells him, he still blames himself." I gave Whit a hugs and said "Just give him some time. I'll check on him before I got to bed and try to talk to him in the morning. Maybe after he sleeps tonight, he'll feel better. You just go on inside and Riker and I will be in in just a few minutes." He gave me another quick hug then ran inside. Riker walked around the car and came to stand beside me. "I hate to leave you, but I need to run next door and grab my stuff so I can stay at your house. It will only take me a few minutes. Are you gonna be ok, or do you want me to have Ross bring my stuff?" I leaned into his hug and said "I should be ok while you run home. I'll sit on the porch and wait for you. I don't think I can go in the house by myself. This will be the first night since Jackson was born, except for the other night at the cottage, that I haven't slept in the same house as Jackson, and I don't think that I can face that by myself."

Riker gave me another quick hug, and then ran over to his house. I went and sat on the front porch to wait. As I was sitting there, I started thinking about everything that had happened in the past 48 hours. I had started a beautiful weekend with Riker, Rydel and Ratliff, but that had been turned into me almost losing my brother and best friend. I was glad that I had Riker to help me deal with everything, and I needed to remember to show him how much I appreciated him, his family, and everything all of them had done for me and my family. But, I reminded myself that I also needed to talk to Jayce and make sure he was going to be ok, and that he no longer blamed himself. Maybe I could get Riker to help me with him. I just had to make sure that I didn't ask Riker to do too much.

After just a few minutes, Riker came back with Ross and Ryland. They all had overnight bags with them, so I looked questioningly at Riker. He shrugged and said "I knew you would have a hard time with everything tonight, so I knew you would need me. Ross and Ryland figured that they could come and hang out with Whit and Jayce." I smiled and said "I think that is a good idea. Maybe you guys can help Whit talk to Jayce. He blames himself for what happened, and so far we haven't been able to change his mind." The guys grabbed their bags and we all walked into the house.

Once inside, I saw Whit heading down to the basement. "Whit, Ross and Ryland are gonna stay here tonight. Why don't you show them where to put their stuff and then you guys do whatever you want. You're old enough that I don't have to babysit you. And try your best to get Jayce to do something with you. Riker and I are gonna go let the dogs out and then probably watch a movie." The boys headed to the basement, and Riker and I went to the room where the dogs were. "Hey Riker, could you open the door to the back yard so the dogs can go out? I'm gonna go get their meals ready." As soon as Riker opened the door, all the dogs ran out into the back yard. I laughed when Riker almost got knocked down by the dogs. "I am so sorry" I said to Riker as I tried not to laugh. "I forgot to warn you that the dogs get extremely excited when the door is opened, so you have to get out of the way in a hurry. Are you OK?" Riker just looked at me and smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine. But those dogs are like Rocky when he goes after mac & cheese. I got in his way one time and ended up getting pushed down the basement stairs. But since I" I laughed. "Well, now that the dogs are out, I have to get their meals ready and put new blankets in their beds. You can help the the blankets. Just take new ones out of the cabinet by the laundry room and put the dirty ones in the first washer in the laundry room. I will wash them later." Riker got started on the blankets while I fixed the dogs' bowls. When I was done, I turned to see Riker coming out of the laundry room. Behind him, I could hear the washer running. "I figured that since I was already in the laundry room, I would go ahead and start the washer for you. That way, that's one less thing you have to think about doing." "Thank you" I said as he took my hand and we walked to the back yard to check on the dogs. "I have a lot on my mind and I probably would have forgotten to wash them."

After the dogs had finished eating and we had gathered and washed their bowls and put the dogs up for the night, Riker and I walked into the living room. Whit had texted me earlier that Ross, Ryland and he had gone upstairs and would probably camp out in the game room. Jayce had been in his room since we got home. "So, I know it's late, but do you want to watch some TV?" I asked Riker as we sat on the couch. "I think it's a little late for that." he said as he put his arm around me and pulled me so that I was leaning against him. "How about we both go and get ready for bed, then we come back down here. I will make up a pallet on the floor with some blankets from the guest room, and we can just sit and talk or listen to music and be together until we go to sleep." I looked up at him and smiled. "That would be perfect. I don't want to be upstairs right now. I just want to be with you. But when you grab the blankets out of the guest room, there is also an air mattress in the guest closet. That will make our bed a little more comfortable." Riker leaned over and kissed me, and then we both went to change and get ready for bed. After I had my sleep clothes on, I checked on the boys. Whit, Ross and Ryland were playing video games, so I told them goodnight and that Riker and I would be downstairs if they needed me. Then I went to check on Jayce. He was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling, but he turned his head when I walked into his room. "Are you OK?" I signed as I walked over to him. "I guess"he replied. "I'm going to be downstairs with Riker if you need me, but Whit, Ross and Ryland are in the game room. It would be nice if you joined them." I told him. "Thanks" he signed, "but I think I'm just gonna go to bed. I'll see you in the morning." I told him goodnight then I went downstairs.

I made sure all the doors were locked and that the alarm was on, then I went to the living room. Riker had the air mattress blown up and had covered it with blankets and pillows. He had also turned off all the lights except for one lamp by the couch. I sat down beside him on the bed, and he automatically pulled me down so I was laying beside him. I ended up with my head on his chest and he had his arm around me. I looked up at him. "Thank you for everything you and your family did for me and my family today. I don't know what I would have done without you. I love you." He smiled and leaned down and kissed me. "I love you too. But you don't have to thank me. As I said before, we did what we did because we think of your family as part of ours, and family helps family." I kissed him again, then laid back down as he started running his fingers through my hair. I had planned to spend some time just talking to Riker, but I was exhausted and within 10 minutes I had fallen asleep. The last thing I remember was feeling Riker tighten his arm around me and whispering "I really love you Rayne, and I hope that someday it's not your family and my family, but OUR family. Goodnight my love."