April's Purpose

Chapter Eight

          The black doesn't go away, I'm in the black void again. I wander around hopelessly before I fall to my knees, everything coming back to me. 'How could he do that to me? what did I do to deserve that?' I continue to sit like that for who knows how long before I see a figure walking towards me. 'who is that?' I thought to my self as I watch it walk closer, but the closer it got the more dread I felt . 'This is the place I go to whenever I die, so how did they get here?'  to scared to move I just sit there as it gets closer but when it gets close enough I was able to see that it wasn't a person, it had a human out line but it was like a children's drawing of black scribbles. 

          "What are you?" I yelled out to it and it stopped, tilting it's head to the side before walking to me again. It was huge, at least twice as tall as me and it was coming closer. 'Where is that light that normally takes me back?'. I wanted to get up and run but the closer it got the more tired I grew, I couldn't get up. I just sit and watch it as it gets closer, closer, closer. It walked like nothing I'd seen before, slouched over and dragging it's feet but also walking so elegant. I closed my eyes as it walked right up to me, expecting something to happen. I was trembling. But when I felt a soft pressure gently squeeze me I open my eyes and looked back, the thing was sitting behind me and hugging me to it's chest. It rested it's head on my shoulder and hugged me a little tighter, it didn't have a face or expressions but somehow I could tell that it was sad, it was longing for affection. 

          I sit there for awhile longer not knowing what to do. So, I let it hold me. In the silence my mind wanders and thought's of him pop up, thought's of how my life was before it all fell down hill. Thinking of him hurt but I couldn't stop, the images were engraved into my head. I'm tired. So, so tired. I lean back into the mess of scribbles behind me, now I was the one longing for affection. It pulled me into it's lap and turned me over so I was now facing it, holding my head to it's chest. I didn't stop it, I was so tired, so cold. But the cold wasn't just surface level where you could put on a big warm hoodie and warm up, it was in my bones. The longer I stayed there the more empty I felt, the more numb I felt. I had a feeling it was all thanks to this thing holding me but I didn't want to get up, I just wanted to lay under the blanket of it's arms. 

          I don't know how long I was there for, it could have been minutes or maybe hours, possibly even weeks. I couldn't tell you how long it was because the time was corrupted. I wanted to lay here forever, like everywhere else was just as cold and empty as I feel but just laying here was kind of... comforting. 'Music would be nice right now though'  I thought to my self as my eyes slowly closed and I drifted off to sleep. I was woken up to the soft rainbow light, I know what this light means. 'No, I don't want to go back!'  but just like before the soft light morphed into really, really bright light. 'No no no, I want to go back. Please'  the tears were falling before I knew it, and just like before I'm being passed around. The sense of Deja vu hits me again. The nurses take me to the table to make sure everything was as it should before picking me up again and bring me back to the hospital bed. Then I see her again, my mom. She holds me in her arms but I don't feel the comfort I felt with that thing back in the void. I know I should but when I was with it, it was almost as if I was alone but being comforted at the same time. I want that back. My mom smiles down at me before caressing my cheek then looks at dad beside her who was already looking at her with eyes full of love and adornment. The same way Danny used to look at me. It hurts.

"April. Her name is April" he smiles as he turns his head to look down at me and nods in approval.

'No please, not again'  next I was in the back of a car, driving somewhere. I knew exactly where we were going. After awhile we stop moving and mom gets out of the car, opens my door and takes me out of the backseat, she carries me around and when she turns around to look back at the car to say something to my dad I see....my house.