Dead & Forgotten

Ch. 10

I was outside the building, waiting for the car. Just then, the payphone rang, and I went to answer it. "Hello? Cassandra here," I said. On the other line was Mom.

"Oh, I'm really sorry, but do you mind if we pick you up at night instead?" she said.

"Why?" I said. "Why not right now?"

"Because we feel that you should stay at Marshall Academy a little longer enough for you to change your mind," she said. "Your father and I, that is." I didn't know what to say to that. "Please, honey, we're begging you—-just give the place one last chance before you can consider leaving tonight. And if you don't really like it there, we can transfer you out."

Great, just great, I thought. "All right," I said reluctantly. "I'll stay till tonight, if that's what you want."

"Trust me, Princess, we all want what's best for you. Always remember that," she said. "Love you."

"Love you too," I said, and we both hung up.

I felt like screaming my lungs out; I couldn't take it anymore. I started walking, but I didn't know where to. I wanted to go somewhere as far away from Marshall Academy as possible. That was the one place where I didn't belong. If I couldn't stand another chance at Marshall Academy Boarding School, I definitely could not stand a chance in Hollywood whatsoever. Suddenly, I had no clue where I was. But when I took a look around me, I caught the sight of beautifully blossomed flowers everywhere, drawn to their pleasant fragrance, which actually cheered me up a little. It did not take me very long to realize that I was in a garden. I had not been to a garden for a long time since I was about five or six. When I was little, I used to love flowers very much for no apparent reason. I could never explain my love for nature, or my childlike curiosity for the seasons. I also used to have a strong curiosity for how the whole world began, which of course would always remain a mystery. Coming to this garden—-by chance, that is—-has taken me back to memory lane. When Rachel and I were younger, we'd used to go to the garden a lot because we both loved going there. She was also passionate about flowers and the nature, and I guess I got it from her. When she died, we buried her in a garden cemetery full of many flowers. Being here also brought tears to my eyes—-tears of joy, or was it....tears of sadness?

I kept myself company in the garden until it was dark. I didn't want to leave the garden of magnificent beauty, but I knew I had to. The garden made me think of Rachel, and in my mind, I could feel her presence right there, next to me—-long, strawberry blonde hair that was naturally curly, the blue eyes I've gotten from her, rosy cheeks, that unforgettable, seductive voice that drew the attention of every human male possible (lucky her), and the same facial features I'd gotten from her. To you, she might have been considered "pretty" or "average," but to me and everyone else who'd known her, she was an angel. A true angel.

I could still feel her presence. My imagination was coming to life, once again. I always had the habit of making my imagination get the best of me—-such as when I first came to Marshall Academy, I imagined that people would really like me and I would have a happy first year of boarding school. Oh, those fantasies—-now gone and down the drain. I felt foolish thinking all those things. I've had suicidal moments before, but trust me, I did not want to go there this time. Now I actually felt tempted to do so. I wanted to do this in the best, smartest way possible—-by falling down from a tree really hard onto the ground....and never regaining my consciousness....

Was it worth it? Stop it! I cried to myself in my head. You cannot make this kind of choice! Don't you dare do this to yourself, Cassandra Fuller. Do you want to be remembered as a coward for all eternity?

"I can't do this!" I sobbed out loud without really intending to. I'd been crying before.

"What can't you do?" I suddenly heard a voice that truly startled me. It was a soft female voice, and I turned around and looked everywhere but did not see anybody. Now that was strange. I knew I heard this voice; trust me, I was not going crazy. I know what I heard; I just don't know who said it.