Always You

Chapter 22: Why

Y/N felt as though the next few minutes drug on painfully. She said soon, but not how soon. The clock on the microwave read 2:00, meaning they'd been waiting only 10 minutes since she texted them back.

Their mind was stuck in an endless loop trying to figure out why Yelena would've jumped to such outlandish conclusions. The night they had together meant the world to them. Why would she think it was nothing? Why would she think she was just a distraction?

More time passed by. The clock now read 2:30.

Soon, they reminded themselves.

If there was anything they were sure of, it was that right now everything is on Yelena's terms. When she gets here, when she talks, what she talks about. It's all up to her. Trying to rush her in any way was just going to push her away.

Standing from the bed, Y/N made their way to the window to glance around. Maybe they'd be able to see her on the street heading in or if she was even here at all. Up and down the street they saw tons of people. It was bustling loudly as people went to and came home from work.

Y/N wondered what it was like for these people. To be able to have normal lives. To be able to be in normal relationships. Does that couple on the corner worry about an organization that enslaves young women and brainwashes them? Doubtful.

They just wanted some sense of normalcy. Being able to go out to dinner with Yelena. Drive home holding her hand. Watch a movie on their tv. Fall asleep holding her. Why on earth is that so much to ask for?

In their line of work, it always would be. There would always be something else to worry about, especially for people like Natasha and Yelena.

One more look up and down the street. Y/N rested their forehead on the glass, doing their best to see every corner.

Still no sign of Yelena.

They turned to head back to the bed, but jumped and screamed at the top of their lungs when they saw a figure standing in the doorway. As they caught their breath, their focus started coming back. How this person got into the room so quietly without them knowing would've been terrifying if it hadn't happened to be exactly who they wanted to see.

"Jesus Christ, Yelena. Did you want to give me a heart attack?"

A smile cracked. A good sign, they thought.

"No, but clearly Nat and I need to teach you to be more aware of your surroundings. What if that was someone from the Red Room?" Her eyes nearly rolled all the way back in her head as she spoke.

Just being with her was enough. At least she was talking to them. At least she was safe in their view. "I'm a little occupied mentally."

"With your girlfriend?" She snapped.

Oh for fucks sake. Daisy was far from their girlfriend. "Yelena, seriously? Why is this firing you up so much? I don't want to be with Daisy."

She was silent. No response. Y/N walked over to sit next to her. Luckily, she didn't try to stray away from them. "Please talk to me. I don't want anything to do with her, Yelena. That's why I didn't answer her text. That's why I walked away when she got here. Why would you think after everything we had last night that I would want anyone else? Anyone other than you?"

"I feel like I was a distraction," she stated, eyes glued to the floor.

Y/N grabbed her hand, "You were never a distraction from anything. If anything, you'd be what I need distracted from! You're constantly in my head."

Yelena smiled faintly but still refused to look up, "Shut up."

"I'm serious... Yelena, please look at me."

It took a few seconds, but finally her head rose. She looked at them with glossy eyes, trying to hold back tears. Y/N's chest felt heavy seeing her like this. "What's going on?" They pulled her into a hug, wrapping her tight in their arms.

She buried her face in their shoulder and let them hold her. She didn't have the strength to hold them back. "I've never done this before, Y/N. I think it's too much. These feelings they're... they're too much for me."

They rubbed her back as she cried. It hurt to hear her like this. They'd expected Yelena to come back fired up, not falling into a puddle of her own tears.

"You know what my childhood was like. You know what I went through. I wasn't even free from the Red Room this time last year. I don't know how to do this. I don't understand how any of this works."

Y/N hugged her tighter, "Yelena, you don't have to. We can figure it out together."

She shook her head, "No. I won't do that to you."

They pulled back this time, making sure her eyes met theirs. "You are worth it. I want to be with you, Yelena. Only you."

Again, she shook her head. "No, Y/N. It has to end here. I'm just going to hurt you and you're just going to hurt me. I can't do this anymore, I'm sorry."

With that, she stood and made her way toward the door. Y/N raced after her, wrapping her in another hug. They wouldn't beg her to stay and they wouldn't beg her to be with them. She needed time. Yelena let their arms pull her in as she wrapped hers back around them.

"I'll wait for you," Y/N declared, "I know this isn't how our story ends. You know this isn't how our story ends."

Yelena dug her head into their neck, trying her best to keep it together. She wanted nothing more in the world than to be with them. For them to call her theirs. It just wasn't right. She didn't think she was ready, if she'd ever be ready, and she didn't want to hurt them.

"Don't," Yelena mumbled before gaining her voice, "Don't wait for me." With that, she let go and left the room.

Y/N was left in shock. This was the last thing they'd expected. It had felt like it was all about Daisy, but it was clear now. Yelena had been a victim to her own thoughts.

They pulled their phone out, thinking about texting her. They wanted to beg her to listen to them, to keep trying, to let them help, but that wasn't right. She needed space. She needed time to realize that this wasn't the right decision.

Y/N would give that to her, but they wouldn't give up.

This isn't how our story ends.