Flight or Fail

Chapter 3: Do It.

[Very Very heavy trigger warning for Self-Harm! Mild gore]
Yet again, Grian blinked his eyes open to find gentle light swathing the cozy living room and Xisuma walking around the kitchen, apparently making lunch.
How long has he slept for?

"You finally woke up!" exclaimed the admin, holding a half-baked loaf of bread and a knife.

A knock at the door signified someone's arrival. Instinctively, Grian dove under a pile of blankets and hid.
Muffled voices came from the doorstep, and a little bit later, X pulled him from under the blanket.

"I have to go fix a server glitch, can you make lunch for yourself? I'll be gone for about three hours, so if you get hungry you'll have to make something yourself," explained his friend, placing a familiar dark helmet on his head and slipping into similar thick armour.

"Okay," came a mumbled response from an exhausted Grian, who had already decided that food was too much effort for now.

Two hours later, he couldn't take his hunger any more, and climbed out of his nest of blankets to make lunch. After eating a rather swiftly thrown-together sandwich, he stood in the doorway, idly holding a knife.
His thoughts did it again.

They wouldn't miss you if you died.
You're annoying.
Give up.
X isn't coming back.
No-one likes you.

Suddenly, the swathe of depressing thoughts ceased. Slight pain twinged his arm, yet when Grian looked down, the gentle sting turned into a blazing agony.

Blood covered his arm, and he realised that for the last ten minutes he'd been cutting his arm while he was distracted. At least seven separate slashes marked his arm, yet he didn't feel as bad about it as he should've.

After all, they stopped his self-hatred, right?

How much worse was physical pain than mental pain?

Shaking his head, Grian dropped the knife on the counter and sank to the floor, thoughts enveloping him for a second time.

Another ten minutes later, they stopped. Panic set in as he let his gaze meander slowly to his other arm, surprised to see it unharmed.

Then he saw his leg.

Blood covered the floor and more was leaking out from each of his wounds. Grian, not wanting this to happen again, threw the knife across the room, where it landed imbedded in the wall. For the next thirty minutes, he cried.

A knock at the door ended his breakdown and instead started a slew of desperate thoughts on how he would explain this to his friend. He didn't have time to think about that, as the door creaked open.

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Author's note:
Posting this on my birthday! Sorry for the depressing chapter, next one's quite short. Also, if I get any if the hermit's personalities wrong, I've only watched s8 and I'm currently watching s7 so the characters may change slightly. This is set in s7 since I knew more of the landmarks. I have tons of new chapters to post but I'm currently on hold for writing for a bit. I got a new phone though do maybe that'll help! My other story is also on hold, will be for until I finish that one. Also, are you interested in a DSMP X Hermitcraft X FableSMP Gods AU, since I have started one. Lemme know if you want it!