Hi I'm Clark living as an introvert, technically I'm not attractive as anyone out there.
And I started living when I was 15 no no no. Started seeing things rationally and the way I suppose to see it when I was 15.
Life is hard more harder when everday fight is self vs self. I don't tend to care to others or be nosy to their life's I mind my own business and it's pathetic cause I can't be happy or content on what I am.
I got this attitude to my mom see things rationally and realistic, and dad who's narcissist and pessimistic views about daily life.
You see two negative genes started forming a wholesome shit who do is stay at home read books study and be secretive miserable 24/7 in life.
I have circle of friends of course if you ask we introverts has called 'small circle' or just a few people whom they be-friend but I'm a introvert who's not confide anything of what I am inside, as I said I'm secretive even to my parents that leads to destructive mixed emotions and often goes to suicidal thoughts of mine.
I have only 8-10 person's to trust but as I said I don't confide anything, they just see a fine mute and not talkative one.
They don't see the shattered wanted some thing called 'affection' and a hug lastly someone to stay and talk to.
It's hard okay, it's hard if you're an introvert but I love it at the same time.
You can't speak your thoughts
You can't tell what you wanted
People see you as worthless (even my parents)
You can't just tell yourself (especially when you're realistic because you will think they will leave someday or they can betray you)
I just sometimes speak to god or to mostly to myself alone, or when I'm really down by overthinking plus my insecurities in me for not being good looking and living as a potato head I just cry in bed when all seems to be sleeping and by tomorrow the session keeps repeating.
School. Projects. Eat. Look at mirror (the confidence has gone after looking at face) Go to school with slumped shoulders. Lesson. Lunch. Homework. Home. Scolded. Home works. Noise from my brothers. Mother mumbling about this and that. Father saying to me. Mind full. Cry the other night or the other other night. Read books. Surf internet. Talk. Posting memes. Sleep. Repeat.
