Forever, from Dawn to Dusk

What is disassociating like?

12-31-21

It starts as a slip in vision-
Like ice on top of ice,
A slow slipping until it's caught by quick eyes and pushed back into uniform.
And then it's a slip of mind, paired with vision until I feel the effects in my body.

It feels like being high
Even though I'm sober.

It's what I would assume disassociating might feel like,
A slip of mind and vision and thought,
Just to be pushed back into place again when I realize I have a conscious and I can think and feel and move.

But my legs feel numb,
I'm unaware of my feet, I can't feel them.
But if I check then they're there and I can feel them, all I have to do it move a muscle and there's immediate response.

The high could be an effect of having a brain whose only mission is to kill the body it controls,

Or it could be that I'm tired, but who knows?