In Apollo's Arms (Sining Series #2)

Chapter 27

"You want to go somewhere?" Umiling ako at saka tinanaw ang malayo, dapat ay si Max na ang maghahatid sa akin but Benjamin insisted na siya nalang. Of course hindi ako aangal he's my boyfriend. Kung ano man ang sinabi ng parents niya labas siya roon. It should be us against the world.

"I'm sorry about what happened." Naramdaman ko ang paghawak niya sa kamay kong nakadantay sa aking hita. He then brushed the back of it.

"Okay lang iyon. Hindi natin kontrolado ang iisipin ng magulang mo." Nilingon ko ito bago sabihin iyon. He gave me a small smile before he grabbed my hand and kissed the back of it. Parang lahat ng mabigat na nararamdaman ko ay natunaw lahat nang halikan niya ang kamay ko.

"Do you see why Yves is the one talking for me?" He started. I watched him took a deep breath, not letting go of my hand.

"I see. Hindi mo... hindi mo kayang sirain ang expectations nila sa 'yo." I said, still trying to find the right words to say.

"No. Because I don't want to. I can't even tell them that you're the girlfriend that Yves is talking about. I'm coward Diana. That's what I am. Until you came." Silence filled the car.

"Bata palang ako ginagawa na ng mom at dad ko ang lahat para makamit ko ang kalidad na mga bagay, they invested everything so I could be something. Growing up akala ko kailangan kong maging perpekto palagi, that's why I develop fear in putting my feelings into words. Because growing up hindi ako pwedeng magreklamo dahil lahat ng ginagawa nila ay para sa ikabubuti ko. Para sa akin, they said. Now, I'm afraid to be someone I wanted to become, pakiramdam ko mawawalan ako ng pamilya kapang pinili ko ang mga gusto ko. I'm afraid to relapse, too afraid to be fragile in front of them. Ang pinakamatapang lang siguro na ginawa ko ay ang pagsampa ng kaso kay Peter, but people ended up betraying me. Pakiramdam ko ay pinagtatawanan ako ng tadhana noong mga oras na 'yon." He continued.

Benjamin is his family's perfect son, while I am my family's imperfect daughter.

So this is what it's like to live up to your parent's expectations? to be caged by the responsibility of being the perfect child, to be afraid to do something for yourself because with each step, a consequences follows.

It must be hard for him to let it go.

Anong laban namin dito?

"So that's why you're afraid to cross the barrier. Pero huwag mo namang sabihin na hahayaan mo nalang silang mag desisyon para sa 'yo?" I said. Halos magtagpi ang mga kilay ko.

"No. You're here with me. What could stop me now?" With each words he's saying, he's taking glances.

Suddenly, heard my phone vibrated.

It's Max.

From: Max

Okay ka lang?
I'll drop by your condo later. :)
May idadaan lang ako.

"Who's that?" Agad ko siyang nilingon nang itanong niya iyon.

"Si Max. He'll drop something sa condo raw." I honestly said. He gave me a strange expression and nodded after that.

Nang makarating ako sa condo ay hindi ko na siya pinaakyat pa, I told him just rest and let today slide. Siguro bukas magiging okay din ang lahat. Today must be just a bad day.

I spent one hour looking at my own reflection on the mirror thinking if I should change the color of my hair, maybe I should chopped my hair tomorrow. Maganda rin siguro ang beige color sa kuko ko. I should wear some neutral color clothes often and ditched my comfort clothes like this hoodie I am wearing.