Happy || Seo Changbin

15th December [1000 Days]

“It is sad not to love, but it is much sadder not to be able to love.”

- Miguel de Unamuno

After graduation your survival show and saw less and less of each other.

You were either in shoot or in practice whenever I called. There were only a handful of days we met after graduation.

Stray Kids had released Hellavator on November 1st.

Congratulations, Seo Changbin! Now you are closer to debuting!

It took months for me to figure out but at last I did. You were too nice to break my heart, binnie .

I figured out that you had fallen out of love.

Binnie❤️🐷🐰

Changbin, are you at practice?:

:Rae!

:I was about to text you.

: We haven't met in a while, do you want to go out today?

:I missed you :/

Ah, is that so? :

I also wanted to ask the same. :

:Okay, get ready!

: I am going to pick you up in 30min.

Okay ❤️:

I took a deep breath and changed, I tried not to look like I was losing my shit realising that you didn't love me anymore.

"Rae!" You hugged me and caressed the back of my head as soon as we met. " I missed you."

"I missed you too!" I said truthfully.

We spent the day going around different cafés and street food vendors. Eating together at new places was one of our favourite things to do.

Then we went to Han river and sat on the pavement, talking about this and that.

I tried to cherish every word you said to me that day with all I could. I loved you so much that I tried to live hundred moments in that one moment we shared.

You were talking about place you wanted to visit sometime in future and I remember interrupting you.

"Binnie, can we kiss?"

You looked surprised, even hesitated a bit but tried to not let me know.

"All of a sudden?"

Didn't you liked to kiss all of a sudden all the time before?

" I just wanted to..I have missed you so much for the past months. " And I will probably never again kiss you.

You smiled and kissed my forehead before leaning in to kiss me, pulling me closer to you.

I kissed back almost immediately, I tried hard to remember what you felt like.

Once you pulled away, your smile turned into a frown. You noticed my tears and instantly pulled me in a hug, concern written all over your face.

"Mirae, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"Changbin.." I tried not to sob . "Let's break up."

You just stared at me in shock, not speaking a single word for a long, long time.

"You are kidding, right?"

I shaked my head.
"You don't love me anymore."

"Rae, that's not true!" You denied, holding my hand.

"I can feel it in the way you kiss me, in the way you look at me, in the way you are around me. I know you well enough to know that it's not love. " I cried.

"You just feel bad for me, you are just doing your best to not break my heart.  You just feel guilty for not being in love with me anymore."

"Mirae-"

"Am I wrong?" I cut you off, my eyes welled up with tears every time I blinked. I didn't care if I looked like a fool, I just needed an answer.

You kept quiet, I saw how your eyes welled up and your lips trembled. I saw how you avoided looking at me.

You indeed fell out of love.

I scoffed.
"I know you hate hurting people but I would hate it more if you stay with me , unhappy. So, just go."

"Mirae, I am sorry." You cried.

"It's alright!" I tried to smile at you, holding your hands, hoping that it would make you feel less guilty. " Our time together was good enough to make life long memories. "

"I-" you hiccuped. "I didn't wanted this to happen. I just don't know how it happened.. I tried so hard to love you the same..I just couldn't."

I engulfed you in a hug and we sat there crying for a very long time.

The fact that we were over hurted so much. I felt like there were hundreds of swords going through my heart each passing minute, like someone was crushing it into pieces.

"We will still keep in contact, right?" You asked , looking into my eyes.

I shaked my head, crying .
"I can't do that, Changbin."

"Why?" Your voice cracked, tears falling incessantly.

" It would not let me move on." I told. "But I promise that one day I will definitely come to meet you."

"You can't break a promise." You said.

I nodded, "Do well, Changbin! You have to be one of the biggest stars out there so that I can go around and tell proudly that I used to know Changbin and Hyunjin.."

You nodded, crying.
"The next time we meet, I will be a big star!"

15th December, We broke up.