A Brief Intro to BDSM and CGL

Intro to BDSM

Intro to BDSM

BDSM is the collective term for any kink, fetish, or non-normative types of activities, usually done for sexual pleasure. Not all BDSM is sexual, however. The term BDSM breaks down into Bondage and discipline, Domination and submission, and Sadism and Masochism. These are the traditional types of play and roles that originated in BDSM. BDSM relationships focus on the enjoyment of physical control, psychological control, and/or physical pain. You do not need to enjoy all aspects of BDSM to be considered in the community. There are three main types of roles within BDSM. The Top or Dominant, the bottom or submissive, and the Switch, who can be both dominant and submissive. It is important to note that while BDSM can be extremely fun and rewarding when done properly, it can also be very harmful, both physically and mentally, if done incorrectly. This guide will not teach in-depth techniques for safety reasons. It is meant to be used as an introduction to the vast and varied world of BDSM. Please take time to do research and talk with those active in the community before attempting any BDSM activities.

Common Roles in BDSM – Note that this does not cover every role you may find in BDSM.

Dominate Roles

Dom – First up is the overarching and most commonly used term. A Dom, short for Dominate, is the "one in charge." They are the ones who direct the activities and carry through with the scene either by performing the tasks themselves or by instructing their submissive. Doms may only be Dominate in the bedroom or may be Dominate 24/7.

Domme – Pronounced the same as Dom or occasionally as Doe-may, Dommes or Dominatrixes are the female equivalent to the male Dom.

Master or Mistress – These are typically the Dominate to a slave type submissive. They tend to be more strict and somewhat rigid in following the rules that have been set forth and agreed upon. They also tend to live BDSM as a 24/7 lifestyle.

Owner – They are the Dominate to a pet, although sometimes a slave will call their Dom(me) owner as well. They tend to have a more playful side so that they can enjoy play time with their pet submissive.

Submissive Roles

Sub – Short for submissive. This term is the catch-all for anyone who submits to a Dominate.

Slave – a submissive who typically has fewer, if any, boundaries or limitations and likes filling the role of the obedient sub. Slaves typically sign a contract at the start of their submission that states that they submit fully to their Dom(me) and lists what is expected of them at all times. There are different types of slaves. Some are house slaves who's duties are to clean the house, cook, and do any other duties that are centered around maintaining the house. Some are sexual slaves, who's duties can range from making sure the Dom(me) is sexually satisfied to having fewer if any restrictions on type of activities during a scene. Slaves tend to have fewer freedoms too. For example the Kajira slaves have a focus on ritualistic servitude, strict gender inequality, and unconditional submission. Their rules can be so fine tuned that they are not allowed to use the restroom without permission from their Dom(me).

Pet – a pet is someone who acts out or role-plays the characteristics and behaviors of a chosen animal. For example, a puppy may walk on leash and collar or play fetch with their owners. Common gear for pet play can range from leashes and collar to ears and tails.

Switches

Switches are someone who can fill both the role of a Dominant or a submissive. They can switch back and forth depending on their mood, what the scene requires, or what their partner requests. It is important to note that you are not just stuck with being one role in BDSM. You may just be a submissive or you might just be a sub, pet, and Dominate. It all depends on who you are, what you enjoy, and what your limitations and boundaries are.