So what do I do? Just sitting here trying to breathe. Taking deep breaths. In, out. I don't know what I am feeling. Is it hate, pain? Am I scared? I couldn't be, a shella like me, scared? I'm not scared, I don't get scared.
Whenever I am outside, I look to the sky. The sky fascinates me. It's a wonderful thing. When I look to it, like now, I wonder to myself 'how many people are looking at the same thing I am? What have they seen, what are their life stories?'. I don't know why I give a shit about them, I don't even know them, but I become curious like that.
Whats going to happen!? To the boys, my boys. My bothers dead, which means someones going to get hurt, and pay for this.
Now I have no idea of what the time is, I can't remember where I am and I don't want to move. I want to stay in this place and not move. I am not in pain but I can't feel anything. I feel no emotion, nothing physical, just numb. I feel like nothing. Just have no idea what to do. I shall sleep. I fell asleep.
I don't know how long I slept for, 1 hour, 2, 3? But it felt like a life time. Well it was, my brothers lifetime. The whole thing had gone in one fcuking moment, there was no warning, nothing. How is that even possible, to kill someone like that, he hadn't even done anything wrong!?
I hate how life can be taken like that.
Well I stood up, it was a little lighter out now. I could see most of the roads around me. It was hot, but there was still a bit of fog around. I didn't really know this part of town. I started walking, I couldn't really see anyone around. The city was quiet, I could hear the soft whisper of the wind between buildings and the murmur of cars. I was glad I hadn't lost my phone. I always keep at least ten bucks in the back of the case. I found a milkshake bar.
I sat down, order a strong black coffee, 2 sugars. I never had one of them, but I guess it might wake me up.
