Uncomfortable Truths - Jercy, Jasiper, Percabeth

Uncomfortable Truths - Coming Clean - Annabeth

I don't know what game Percy thinks he's playing.

Honestly, I had a feeling it would happen sooner than it did. Piper was the first to bring the inevitability to my attention, but it wasn't until she showed me Katoptris, that I realized how trying to prevent it from happening would end in disaster. Like tempting the fates.

She'd pulled me aside at campfire that night and led me to the big house porch. We sat on the stairs and she passed me her blade. She said she couldn't watch it again, that it was going to take a while to process without feeling angry and bitter. I unsheathed the blade and looked into the mirrored surface. I saw Jason and Percy wrapped together on a bed, connected by more than their mouths, though the kiss they shared was more intense than any I've ever shared with Percy. I slipped the knife back into its sheath and Piper and I sat in silence for several long minutes.

"Think we should tell them? Show them?" she'd asked.

I shook my head. "Definitely not. I think this is one of those things that needs to be allowed to unfold on its own." Blinking back my tears, I'd never felt more deficient than in that moment, but I wasn't going to let it show. I could only imagine how Piper felt already. It wasn't just me that was hurting. "If we showed them ... you know what they're like ... They'd deny it up and down, start getting weirded out around each other, try to avoid seeing each other and it wouldn't do anything but put it off or even get them killed."

"Agreed," she'd said. And then we returned to the campfire, put on our happy faces and gotten on with life.

It's been a year since Percy dropped out of high school, seven months since we both started at New Rome University. He still hasn't confessed it to me, but I see it in his face when he stares off in space. It happened and now he misses Jason and what they had together.

I've set architecture as my major but I think I might go for a double major. My human sexuality and gender studies class has been more eye-opening and personally affirming than any of the others. It was in this class that I finally came to understand that what I had always thought of as a shortcoming, a deficiency, is just my hard-wired sexuality. I am asexual and there's nothing wrong with me.

Percy and I have only had sex three times and all of them weren't great experiences. I feel horrible just thinking about them, and then even worse when I realize Percy probably feels the same, but doesn't understand why and is too afraid of losing what we have to ask me about it. I've tried to bring it up, to talk to him about what I'm learning, even left my books lying around in both my dormitory and his in the hopes he'll pick them up out of curiosity and maybe find the answers on his own.

I know. It's a far reach for me to hope it would happen. Percy is far from an idiot, but he misses some things that are right in front of his eyes unless you deliberately point them out and make him see. I've been talking to Piper again, mostly by Iris message. It seems she was in the same boat with Jason as far as him not being honest about what happened with Percy, but she finally confronted him about it. He admitted it had happened and that he avoids coming to New Rome as much as possible. When he can't help but make the trek, he doesn't announce he's here because he doesn't want things to be weird. Piper admits she and Jason aren't entirely sexually satisfied with each other, but it's not one-sided or even because of what Jason and Percy did. Piper confessed to me she's pansexual and poly, and one man - even a perfect man - couldn't ever be her only partner.

She says Jason had a hard time coming to terms with it, but after months of talking it over, he's agreed to open their relationship.

"What does that mean though?" I ask. "Have you found another partner? Has Jason?"

She twiddles with the red feather tied to the end of her braid. "Honestly, with Jason's personality I think there's only one person other than me he'd even consider being with, and he's already told me it isn't an option. The problem is that I can't really start looking for another partner that we'll both be okay with if he doesn't too. It feels unfair and really ..." she sighs "... too much like something my mom would do."

Percy.

I close my eyes, thinking. He really does need more than I can give. I think back to last night, when we'd sat on my couch watching a movie and cuddling. How I'd been perfectly content just being there with him, close and warm, enjoying his embrace and how good he smells, and then I recall how his breathing had quickened, his grip on my arm tightening, shifting his legs. He'd been aroused. He'd kissed me deep and slow, and then forced himself to stop, to not get carried away as if he was too afraid of pushing me into sex only to find me holding back tears when he wants to see pleasure. I can't do it anymore, can't talk myself into going through the motions when my body screams do-not-want. And then he'd kissed me goodnight and run back to his own dorm to find relief with the help of his hand and the sex toys he thinks I don't know about.

"So you thought Percy ..." I start to say, but then it really hits me how it could work. Jason is devoted to Piper. I've seen it with my own eyes, even when he waves at me through the Iris message at times, asking Piper what she's in the mood for for dinner. Jason and Percy had looked so happy together in the vision in Katoptris. So right together, and they could have that if I was okay with it. Piper wants it for them too. "Yes. I agree. I want that for him."

Piper looks at me, one eyebrow raised. "Really? You'd be okay with it?"

I breathe out through my nose. Even though we are close friends, I find her lack of faith trying. She knows about my struggles, how things have been not-working so far and why.

"Of course I would. Percy's probably the most sexual person I know. He needs it and I can't provide it. He's also devoted and probably feels as guilty as ..." I stop before I invoke the name on the tip of my tongue, quickly amending, " ...hell. If it's Jason, I am alright with it. I don't know how I'd feel if it was somebody else, but ..." My face flushes. Piper's smirking at me. "You know what I mean!"

The door opens behind me and she waves. "Hi, Percy!"

I turn around. "Hey there. You want to talk to Piper?" His eyes widen the smallest amount. I can practically see the guilty thoughts flying through his head.

"Actually, I have to run. Let me know how it goes ... after everything." Piper waves her hand through the message and then it's just me and Percy.