Blaming myself

8.5K 202 6
                                    

***WARNING SUICIDAL ACTIONS***

Alex's P.O.V.

I sat up but instantly fell back down because of the pain. I screamed and seconds later people came to me.

"Alex i need you to take these pills," Hershal says holding two pills and a cup of water, "their pain relievers."

"D..Daryl." i groan in pain ignoring Hershal.

"Alex we need you to take these." Rick says.

Still i ignore them. I continue to cry out for Daryl and the pain gets worse. He isn't here. I don't feel his presence anywhere near me. He's gone. What if the other people got him? What if he is staving and I can't help him? What i-

"Alex please take the pills." Beth begs.

I couldn't let Beth down. She is my only friend I've ever had. I let out a shaky breath and take the pills. In minutes the pain that was brought apon my body left but the pain i get from not knowing if Daryl is well is killing me. I slowly stand up but almost fall if it wasn't for Beth. She had her arms around me and helped me up.

"Daryl," I whisper, "where's Daryl?"

"He's gone," Beth says sadly.

"He's gone?" I ask on the dreak of tears, "He left?"

She slowly nodded.

I fell to the ground and cried. He left. He left me. He left the group. If he didn't want to be mated to me, he could have just left me to die. He didn't have to feel like it's forced on him.

Beth's arms still stayed around me and i cried into her shirt. "Come on lets get you laid down." She whispers.

She helps me stand and we slowly walk to A. Once she had me laid on the bed she had to leave to help the group with things. I waited a while till she left to crawl out of the bed and over to my bag.

I reach in and grab my pocket knife. I flip the blade out and glide it over the concrete. I smiled as the blade left a mark in the concrete.

I lift the blade up and glide it over the pad of my thumb and the blood trickled down my skin. It hurt at first but so the pain didn't hurt anymore the more I glided the blade over my skin causing it to split open and blood come out.

Do it you derisive it! A voice yelled in my head You derisive it for being a horrible mate!

I did as i was told and glided it over my skin. The voice then started to point out how many to do and for what.

One for not helping your family

One for forcing Daryl into this

One for bring Beth into this

One for not fighting back

One for making this group take you in

Five for hurting Daryl and making him leave

I did all ten cuts over my arm. Blood covered the ground around me. Suddenly gun shots come from outside. The shots went on for about ten minutes before i hear yelling.

"Where is she?!" A fimilar voice screamed.

"She's in A!" Another voice yelled.

I hear the block door slam against the concrete wall. "Alex!" His voice boomed.

I could hear my blood splater onto the ground below and seconds later feet stomped up the metal stairs.

"Alex!" Another scream came as a towel was pressed against my arm.

I look up to see him.

He isnt real! The voice yelled at me again Your seeing things!

For some reason I believed it. I looked back down at my arm and remove the towel only to have it pressed against my arm again. I keep trying to take the towel off but no matter how hard i try it keeps getting placed back on it.

"Alex stop!" He screams.

"Your are not real," I whisper, "You left me, your not here."

"Alex I'm here," my head gets lifted up and i meet his George blue eyes, "I'm here."

He pushes his lips on mine then i notice he really is here. Daryl came back.

My Mate Is A HunterWhere stories live. Discover now