Life Sentence

CHAPTER 5

    Saad hunched over the scattered files once again. Head in his hands, eyes forced to stay open, fingers pulling at the ends of his hair, his stature seemed like some crazy delusional who had lost all his money on gambling but still hoped to put more on the line and miraculously win. Going over the same point over and over again, knowing he had missed something, but what?

    He had always been a man who was always right. He never had to look twice for something because he was always right the first time. But now he was praying that he had been wrong. That maybe he missed something the first time, although he had gone over the reports a thousand times already in the same hope.

    A knock on the door broke his chain of thoughts. He looked up and noticed the room spinning, the once sharp lines now blurred around the edges. He realized how tired he really was.

    “Come in.” He shook his head once, a frail attempt to clear his head.

    Asma Bi, their long time maid entered his room with a hot cup of coffee in her hands. Only Saad was not seeing her but an angel who was taking care of his health. Taking the cup from her hand, he sighed deeply. “Thank you so much, Auntie.”

    “Oh don’t mention it. But I think you should go check on your family downstairs. They just returned from their function and Huma is not pleased. They are arguing in your father’s office.”

    He furrowed his brows and took a sip of his coffee, relishing in the warmth that seemed to spread in his body. “You wouldn’t happen to know what the matter is, would you?”

    She shook her head and he stood up, heading for the door. He just knew what she was going to do so he said without turning back, “Don’t even touch a single thing, Auntie. Leave the mess where it is.” Keeps me close to the reality of the mess my life is in.

    He went to his father’s intimidating study. There wasn’t anything dark or wrong with the room. On the contrary, it was the brightest room in their house with mocha colored walls and white furniture. But since he was a child, he had been afraid of this room. It was the person his father became when he was working here. So mechanical, cynic and never-resting. As a child, he didn’t want to be around that person, a man who didn’t smile when his child happily showed him his art project or the one who didn’t look back at his wife with the same love she showed him. He was afraid of that person.

As a teenager, he came to realize he didn’t want to be that person. No matter what, he didn’t want to be the kind of lawyer his dad was. No matter how successful he was in field, observing him made Saad come to the conclusion that his father was never emotionally attached to a case. He always ended up doing the right thing but he knew his dad never cared for the person affecting or the affected, he always cared about a good score on his record.

As an adult, he was starting to realize that he was becoming that person. Maybe not the selfish part, but definitely the part where he was starting to neglect his own family. And he wanted to give himself the excuse that it was just because he was hell bent on proving Kubra’s innocence, but he couldn’t. Because he knew he was already going down that hill long before that.

“What if it was me, dad?” Huma yelled at Shams Mirza who was clearly looking pissed at that point if the scowl on his face was any indication. “What if I had been sentenced to spend my life alone in a small cell? Would you have given up on me too?”

“Shut up, Huma! Don’t say stuff like that.” His mom tried to shut her down.
“What’s happening here?” Saad asked, but he went unheard as Huma shouted again.

“No, mom! I want to know if I had been in this situation, if I had been accused of cutting someone’s throat, what would have you done? Would you have shed a few tears too and packed up? I don’t think you have let dad do that. Even if he would have suggested it, you wouldn’t have. “