Learning to Swim

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

When I was seven I was obsessed with birds. It was a strange fascination, but I couldn’t help being completely intrigued by every little thing they did. I remember that I used to go out back and lay on the grass, watching the birds come and go as they pleased. I would watch them for hours. It was my way of escaping everything else for just a little while.

I often dreamed of being a bird myself. I had been so jealous that they could just fly away whenever they wanted. They could get away so easily. Getting away is the only thing I had ever wanted. I remember thinking life would be so simple if I could fly away from everything. I was grounded, though, and eventually I realized that dreaming of anything else was just stupid. I was stuck where I was at and there was no changing that.

For some reason this is the first thing I think of when I regain consciousness in a hospital room. I don’t remember right away what has happened and I think it is because I force myself to push it back. I don’t want to remember because I don’t want it to be real. So instead I think of birds. Of watching them fly and wishing I could do the same. If I could fly now then I would leave all this behind. There would be no pain of knowing the truth. I would never have to look back.

Then Liam’s face flashes through my mind and I know that isn’t true. I wouldn’t leave it all behind. Not anymore. Not when I have something to stay for. This is when my memories of tonight coming flooding back. I think that if I had fought it I could stop myself from remembering, but I don’t fight them no matter how scary they might be.

I cry out when the memory of Dane stabbing Liam comes back to me. It almost feels like dream. I mean, something so terrible couldn’t have actually happened. I know it did, though, and I don’t have any clue what happened to Liam. In a panic to find him I try sitting up only to be pushed back down by a nurse I didn‘t notice standing in the room.

“Stop squirming, dear. You hurt your head pretty badly and moving around isn’t going to help you much,” she advises me and I continue to struggle against her.

“Liam!” I call out frantically.

“Is that the boy that you were with?” the woman asks, a look of sympathy flashing through her eyes. That look scares me so much.

“Is he okay? Do you know…,” I trail off. I stop fighting against her now that I realize she could tell me what I need to know.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not sure what his condition is at this time,” she replies and my eyes fill with tears. He has to be okay, he just has to.

“Can you find out? Please?” I beg.

“Just try to relax for now. I’ll let you know whenever I find something out,” she says.

The nurse checks a few things before leaving me alone in the room. The silence forces me to be face my thoughts and I know I will go insane if I keep going through the things that happened tonight. The nurse told me to relax, but that certainly isn’t going to happen without knowing how Liam is. I just have to know if he is okay or not. That is the only thing that even matters.

So, instead of lying there in that bed waiting for someone to come tell me news about Liam, I decide to go and find out for myself. Sitting up causes my head to spin, but I grit my teeth and push the pain away. Then I remove the wires connecting me to the machines and slip out of the room before any nurses or doctors see. They will find out soon enough, but hopefully I will have found where Liam is by then.

I walk a little down the hallway before realizing that I have no idea where to go. I assume since his injury seemed a lot more serious than mine that he would probably be in a completely different wing of the hospital. I walk to the waiting room of the ICU, hoping that if Liam is there I can find out from the receptionist. I’m also hoping that she won’t figure out I’m a patient.