Learning to Swim

Epilogue

Epilogue

Seven Years Later

“Dakota!” Maggie calls out excitedly and runs into my arms. “I missed you!”

“It’s only been a few days since I saw you, Mags,” I laugh and she shrugs.

“Since when is there a time limit on when you are allowed to start missing someone?” she demands and I shake my head, with a small smile. Some people never change and although Maggie has grown up over the years, deep down I know she will always be the same. I can’t say the same for myself.

It has been seven years since the night that Liam died. And although a lot of things have changed since then, one thing hasn’t. I still love him just as much as I always did. No matter what I do or how much time passes I think I will always love him. I will never fully get over him and I can’t say that I want to. I’ve long since come to terms with what happened that night, but it took a long time before I was alright again. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same girl that he brought out in me.

After my complete breakdown in the hospital, things didn’t get better. I cried for weeks and wouldn’t talk to anyone. I wouldn’t eat and I couldn’t sleep. I was a mess and I would be for a long time after. The person that saved me was Maggie. She stayed with me through everything and took over all of the things I couldn’t handle. She took care of me until slowly I began to feel like a living person once again. It was a slow and painful process of getting back on my feet and I couldn’t have done it without her.

In the beginning I had wanted to die. I couldn’t handle the pain of never seeing him again. I would see things that reminded me of him and I would completely lose it. I’m pretty sure Maggie thought I was going to commit suicide or something, but I knew I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t leave Addie behind like that, even if I was doing her much good by sticking around anyway. Maggie had been the one taking care of her while I was getting myself together and I felt terrible about this. I just didn’t know how to go on living without him, but slowly I began to find ways.

I needed something to channel my emotions into and I found something. Painting. When I would paint it would take the pain away just for a little while and so I threw myself into it. Instead of spending the nights I couldn’t sleep pacing around the house like a ghost, I would get up and paint myself a picture. At first a lot of the things I drew were from that night and it haunted me to look at them. Then one day a memory of Liam trying to teach me to dance came to me. It was one of my best memories of him, but I had been trying to push all thoughts of him away so that I wouldn’t feel the pain of it that I almost forgot about that day. This was when I realized that I didn’t want to forget him. He was the best thing to happen to me and I couldn’t lose a single second of my time with him. So, I began to draw it, all of it. It was how I remembered him and how I found just the tiniest bit of peace.

Without my knowing, Maggie submitted some of my paintings and drawings to an art school that I had once hoped of going to. Without Liam around I completely forgot about my brief dream of going to college. He was the one that convinced me I even had a chance and without him around it felt like that chance had also slipped away. It didn’t feel right that I could go when he never would. I guess that Maggie thought I still had a chance, though. And as it turned out I did. I was accepted to the college of my dreams with a pretty good scholarship as well. The only problem was that I didn’t know how I was supposed to go without him.

Then one day Maggie finally snapped and we got into a pretty big fight. She had been treating me like I would break at any moment, which maybe I would have, but I think she got sick of me being depressed and she told me everything she had really been thinking. I’m glad that she did. I had spent months mopping around feeling sorry for myself and I needed a wakeup call. Maggie was mine.