My New Obsession [BxB]

Chapter Twenty- Someone Buy Me Roses

 I opened the door to the hotel corridor and then stopped. What exactly was I looking for? George? Matt? Jake, to apologise? I decided to just go for a walk. I quickly grabbed George’s cigarettes and his lighter and headed outside. Our room was a smoking room but I felt I needed fresh air anyway. It’s strange to think, really, that I went outside to get fresh air… but also to pump toxins into my lungs. Something just didn’t seem right about that. As I walked away from my room I could hear music starting in the one next door; Jake was firing up his party.

 It was even colder outside than it had been when we’d first arrived. I resented not thinking to grab a jacket as I huddled under one of the streetlamps in the car park and lit up a cigarette. As I exhaled I looked up to see the whole sky was covered with a thick cloud. The weather would just keep getting worse now.

 I took another drag on the cigarette but the smoke caught in my throat and I started to cough violently. I doubled over, my whole body shaking, and tried to cough whilst avoiding throwing up. It wasn’t easy. I soon found myself spluttering on the ground, tiny stones digging into my knees as I fought for clean air.

 My eyes were stinging and running and my vision was blurry when I eventually was able to breathe again. I stood up and dusted my jeans down and offered the world a final cough. I spat on the ground and looked up.

 Someone was watching me.

 I rubbed my eyes and squinted over to the lights nearest the hotel. Someone was standing underneath one of them, smoking and watching me. Holy-

 “-shit, Matt! What the fuck are you doing?” I yelled. I jogged over to him slowly so as not to set off another coughing fit.

 He quickly dropped the cigarette and trod it out guiltily. I tried to frown sternly but it was difficult to tell whether or not I was intimidating Matt. For so long I had been exiled by other kids because I was taller than them, and now after switching schools I had found both Matt and Liam to be taller than me. I quickly pushed the thought of Liam out of my head…

 “I just got a craving…” he murmured. I rolled my eyes. Then I paused.

 “Show me the packet.”

 “Excuse me?”

 “Show me the fucking cigarette packet!” I snapped. He froze momentarily and then slowly pulled the pack out. Marlboro Reds. “You stole my fucking cigarettes! I knew I’d put them in my backpack!”

 “Look, I’m sorry!” he said, handing them back to me. “I couldn’t just ask for one, none of you would understand. You’re all trying to wrap me in cotton wool and keep me safe-”

 “We’re trying to protect you.”

 “I know, and I’m thankful, believe me. I didn’t mean what I said earlier, I really didn’t. But I just feel so tense and trapped and I just…”

 “Hey. It’s okay.” I said, pulling him into a hug.

 “God, I just miss Maisy…”

 I paused. I honestly couldn’t tell if I was supposed to resent Maisy or not. She had just dropped Matt and let him wither away into a state of depression… but she evidently still loved him. And he still loved her. But what if it didn’t work out?

 “I know. But you’ll see her soon.” I reminded him. He pulled away from the hug and smiled awkwardly again.

 “I’m going back inside. You coming?” he asked me. I shook my head.

I watched him head back towards the hotel and sighed. We’d fought so hard to keep him alive. Here he was, still breathing. But Liam still wanted to kill him, and he and Maisy weren’t completely worked out yet, and he still wanted to smoke and drink and do drugs… Would he actually be happier with Maisy? Or would one problem be solved and leave a million others uncorrected?