You Are Mine

Chapter 5: For Keeps

Trigger warning: mentions of dark topics, self harm, sexual assault. Please skip this chapter if these topics are too much for you.

I am frozen in time, or that's how I feel. I cant stop watching the Doctor's blood flow from his neck. At first its gushing, practically spraying from his new wound. A géiser. The longer I watch the slower it flows. Its begun pooling around the chair and his feet. The gurgling noises he'd been making seem to be coming to an end. I'd remember those sounds forever.

I was truthfully mesmerized by the dark crimson pooling closer and closer to my feet. I'm no stranger to self harm, blood never phased me when I'd hurt myself. Yet I'm completely in a trance right now. why did his seem so dark? logically, I know its the amount and how fast he bled out making it appear black. However a part of me believes its due to how evil that man was. His blood was black like his soul, if he even had one.

I'm having a battle with myself, part of me says I should be completely falling apart with guilt right now. I may not have slit the Doctors throat with my own hand, but I gave the command ultimately. He probably had family, I'm sure someone is going to miss him. yet here I am not even upset to have his blood on my shoes. He'd hurt me countless times, in the most un­thinkable ways. Why should I feel bad? His death was sunshine and roses in comparison to what he'd actually deserved.

Father I've killed a man, but I had to do it.

Flashback

Light buzzing sounds flood my ears. my eyes feel so heavy. I struggle to open them at all.

"Welcome back, Katherine." Dr. Z greets me as his filthy hands caress my knee.

I grimace at his touch. I'll end up scrubbing my skin raw to try and erase all traces of him, just to have this happen again. Why hadn't I just reported him? I had, many times, but why listen to a 'crazy girl crying wolf'? No one fucking believed me.

"Don't touch me." I barely can speak. Being electrocuted scrambles your brain.

"Now, Katherine." He moves his hand up and roughly pinches my inner thigh until I cry out in pain. "We've discussed manners."

Fuck you.

"When will you get it? You belong to me, I fucking own you. You don't get out of here until I'm done with you." He grabs me by the jaw and forces me to look at him. "I could put you on a medical cocktail that'll make your brain fucking mush. Don't test my patience."

What else can I do? I'm strapped to a bed, hooked up for shock therapy in a place where my word means nothing because I'm crazy. I sob. His hands touch me, and I continue to cry while I stare at the ceiling. I count the tiles, find imperfections to focus on and try to leave my body. I mourn for the days before this evil person had ever touched me.

"That's right, you like this." He says to himself. He must be trying to convince his own brain of that because I don't like this. I have officially checked out. Deep inside I know I'll spend the rest of my days trying to burn the memories of this man and his torture.

End flashback

"Flower?" Colson's voice breaks through my thoughts. "what's going on in there?" He tucks my hair behind my ear with his blood stained hand. after turning me to face him.

It takes a few moments before my eyes leave the sight of the dead doctor to look up at Colson. "lm a bad person... Why dont I feel bad? I'm happy he's dead."

I should feel overwhelmed with the fact that im responsible for his death, but I just feel so much relief. I'm literally crying tears of happiness. So happy that I won't have to watch over my shoulder and worry about him taking what he wants from me again.