TW: mentions of drugs
Era: prince hair
Y/n's Pov
Numb.
That's how I feel all the time. 24/7.
I'm in so much pain. I've been doing drugs since Harry and I broke up.
You see, Harry and I have been dating since before x-factor and we recently broke up because it got too much for the both of us. The media was terrible, trying to break us up since the beginning. To top it off, we both have things going on in our lives. They finally got what they wanted.
We both decided to split because it would've been easier. The comments have stopped, the tweets, the threats, all of it. We have things we need to take care of also.
We thought it would've helped stop everything but it made it worse. For me at least.
I have never been this low in life. I've hit rock bottom. My mental health is non-existent. It's gone downhill since the moment we broke up; and it's getting worse each passing minute.
I miss him so much and I'm so pissed that we let people who don't know us, ruin our relationship. Random people. Random fucking people.
"Shit," I whisper while staring up at the ceiling, squinting my eyes.
My heart racing, I continue to smile.
Euphoria.
That's the feeling I got whenever I took a line. It made me forget. But it was temporary; that's why I continued to do drugs. Now I'm a drug addict. I'm constantly high.
It's a love-hate relationship with the drugs. I love how it makes me feel but then I don't. I know they're terrible for me but I can't find myself stopping.
I need help. I know I do.
A tear slips from my eye, slowly rolling down my cheek, taunting me. Another tear slips from my eye, then another. And another. Tears freely fall down my cheeks and it angers me.
Before I'm thinking, I'm snorting another line. And another. And another. My heart is racing. My vision blurs from the drug mixed with tears.
After a few minutes I feel my heart rate slow down immensely. A little too much. My head feels dizzy, matching my eye sight.
Before I'm thinking of what I'm doing, I'm calling Harry. I listen to the rings as I'm zoning out.
Suddenly his voice booms through the phone.
"Y/n, hey," he says sounding surprised.
"I think I'm dying," I whisper, barley able to talk from how slow my heart is pumping.
"What? Are you okay?" He asks, sounding alert.
"Help me," I whisper with another tear rolling down my cheek.
"What happened?"
"Please just help me," I say before hanging up the phone.
I lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling, tears still rolling down my cheeks. In my head I'm saying goodbye to everyone in my life. I truly believe this is my last day.
My heart slows down even more than before but I don't move. I don't try and make it feel better because once it's over, it's over. I won't feel anymore. When I'm numb, I'm still feeling because I know it's been terrible for me to get to the point of being numb.
"Fuck," I whisper.
I spend my time staring at the ceiling, waiting. I hope he helps me. He's the only one who can.
A loud knock rings through my ears but I don't make the effort to get up; simply because I can't.
Once Harry realizes I won't answer the door, he lets himself in. He scans the room to look for me and once he locates my body, his face drops.
"What the fuck," he whispers in shock.
"I-I'm sorry," I whisper, my eyes barely open.
His eyes scan the room, his eyes stopping on the coffee table to see the reminiscent of the drug running thought my system.
"Y/n, what did you do," he whispers, looking at me.
He slowly walks to me and sits down next to me.
"It hurts so bad," I whisper, fresh tears rolling down my cheeks from my eyes, "it was the only way to take the pain away and now it doesn't do anything but I'm so addicted. Harry, help me; I can't do it anymore," I cry.
"Hey, you're going to be okay," he whispers, wrapping his arm around me, pulling me into his side. I lay my head on his chest, tears rolling my cheeks.
"No it won't, Harry. I'm so fucked; I can't do it anymore," I sob, "I'm dying."
"No you're not, you're fine."
"You don't get it. I'm actually dying. My heart is barely pumping," I whisper, ashamed I've gotten to this point.
His body tensed, he quickly grabs his phone and goes to his phone and clicks the keypad, I'm assuming to call 911.
"911, what's your emergency?"
"Hi, I need an ambulance at xxx xxx."
"What seems to be the issue?"
"My girlfriend did drugs and she thinks she might die. She said her heart rate is barely pumping."
Girlfriend. Ouch.
"Okay, we have an ambulance on the way."
"Thank you so much."
He hangs up the phone and looks at me.
"You said I'm your girlfriend," I point out.
"I'm sorry," he whispers, pain evident in his voice.
"It's fine, I guess," I whisper.
We wait for the ambulance to arrive, talking about anything and everything to distract myself.
"I just miss you so much," I say, looking at him, blinking slowly.
"I miss you too," he replies.
"I wish we were normal ...no media or anything."
"Same, we probably would still be together if the media wasn't involved. Maybe after we both get our shit together, we can try again. We can take it step by step," he offers.
"You really mean that?"
"With my whole being."
Sirens are heard from outside and suddenly loud knocks are heard on the door. Harry is quick too get up and open the door for the paramedics. He directs them into the living room and their quick to get me onto the stretcher and take me outside to the ambulance.
Hey, I hope you like it !!
If you didn't know, I came out with a new book !!!!!! It's called 'Teen Mom', it's based off the series I wrote awhile back, I'd appreciate it if you read it <3 the first chapter is already up.
Remember to drink something and eat something, you deserve it <3
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-gabs
