living with the bad boy

Chapter 8

I held onto Blake as if my life depended on it. He didn't utter a single word, he simply held me as I quietly sobbed into his shirt taking in his calming scent. It had seemed like few had been hugging forever, simply blocking out the rest of the world and forgetting all our problems. At least until Blake decided it was appropriate to speak.

"So what happened?" He questioned, sounding unsure of himself and pulling away from the hug. I began to tear up once again but pushed my feelings aside.

"I don't know, it was going great and then of course me being my naive self, I just had to ask him where he was all my life and his explanation was crap so I just went off. God I couldn't help it, I just think that I deserve an explanation ya know? I mean for sixteen years I was stuck in that adoption center left with nothing but my corrupt thoughts and assumptions as to why my patent didn't love or want me and the best excuse he could give me was ' I was getting my life together'" I sobbed unending my hands over my face and refraining from crying any more.

"I'm sorry, I know- "no, please don't say you know because that's the problem. You don't know, nobody knows. After you spend sixteen years of your life in an adoption center hoping and praying that somebody will want you and love you the way parents should then you can tell me that you know." I snapped pulling away from him and walking away. He grabbed my wrist and spun me around, my face was now buried in his broad chest. I pulled back a little uncomfortable with this position and Blake continued to speak.

"You can't stand here and wallow in self-pity, it isn't right. Because there are tons of people that know and understand what you went through and are going through. Now you may be right about me but you cannot stand here and act like your the only person going through some shit okay?" He said calmly as his eyes bore into mine.

"We all feel differently Blake, some people don't feel at all , some people feel too much some people don't care one bit, we are all different, I know I'm not even close to being the only person who goes through this kind of crap. What I'm saying is you don't know how I feel, nobody knows how I feel. Nobody knows all the thoughts and doubts running through my mind." I cried eyeing him sternly ready take off again only to be pulled back by him once more. I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me to stay but my mind was screaming run.

"Im sorry. Okay come on" he said grabbing my hand and leading me to his car.
I caved in a matter of seconds knowing I wasn't going to win an argument with him. Letting out a very audible huff I hopped in his car and crosses my arms over my chest.

"Where are we going? Home?" I questioned a bit eager to get some sleep and forget today ever happened.

"It's a surprise" he shrugged sounding smug as usual.

"I hate surprises" I grumbled slouching in my seat and biting down on my lip in frustration.
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"Cause all we are... Is lost stars trying to light up the dark" Adam Levines voice filled my ears as I lay in the back of Blake's truck gazing at the night sky.

"Penny for your thoughts" Blake chuckled nudging my shoulder.

"This song is just so true it's scary. We spend the majority of our time pouring meaning into everything we do and finding our way through the dark. When in reality we hold no profound meaning. Life is life there isn't a point to it and when we aren't trying to find meaning for every little thing we are pitying ourselves and praying for our woe filled lives to gradually become more than just a drop in the ocean." I rushed as if my life depended on it and those would be the last words to leave my mouth. Blake stared at me expressionless for the longest time before clearing his throat and saying.

"Wow..." he said sitting up to face me. "I never knew your vocabulary was so large" he said bursting out in laughter. I felt tears well up in my eyes for some reason what he said was like a bullet to the chest.

"You're suck a jerk" I scoffed hopping out of his truck and marching away from him and his stupid car.

"Summer I was joking." He chuckled

"Well I wasn't" I snapped turning back to him. The last thing I heard before everything went black was the squeal of tires and someone screaming my name . Little did I know this incident would be the one to change my life forever.